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How do all of you cope?

snookiessnookie Posts: 348
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:22 AM in Depression and Coping
Most of you have been dealing with ths so long (it's only been 4 months for me). How do you keep going everyday?

My boys, 9&10, keep me going everday, but barely. I keep getting out of bed for them, but don't know how much longer I can do this.

So please, tell me, how do you all do it?


  • With pain you learn to adapt to life....and my meds do help me with the pain.....
  • It's difficult to answer your question since I began dealing with chronic headaches and shooting pain before I injured my lower back and discovered acute and severe pain.

    I guess I could say that I became very angry and channeled that anger into motivation, which motivated many doctors which in turn helped keep my motivation going.

    Eventually I discovered that pain just didn't mean the same thing for me anymore and it all became a matter of trying to live my life instead of focusing on the pain. When the pain forces the focus back on itself then I have to deal with it, however somewhere in all of that I am still fighting to regain what I can and stay motivated to push forward.

    Yes there are things like physical therapy, acupuncture, drugs, nerve blocks, ablations and surgery that I have gone through, but each of those come without the promise of complete relief, each of those are a "maybe". So I have to stay prepared to live with it and section it off.

    Today I have a spinal cord stimulator which is a wonderful device. It comes with a price though. 24/7/365 I am reminded by the feeling of the device running, that I live in horrible pain. Should the device fail or be turned off, my life will once again become a struggle.

    I'm sorry, I wish I had an easy answer for you. I guess the key is to not give in to the pain. Respesct it. Listen to it. Let it motivate you to seek out the help that you need.

    Best wishes,


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  • Hello my fellow Spineys,

    I am 3.5 mos. post-op. I had an ACDF & Plating (C5 - C7) in May. I am TIRED and frustrated due to the excruciating pain, numbness, weakness, and tingling that has returned to my left arm down to my fingertips. I am a pianist, and have been unable to practice or perform since Dec. 2007. Playing the piano is my "therapy." These are the SAME symptoms I had pre-op. Not to mention the constant pain in my neck, shoulders, and back (headaches too). I had P.T. before my surgery! This added no value, but my NS believes it is essential to my recovery. Therefore, I am currently back in P.T. and wonder if I'm wasting my time? On this past Monday (Aug. 7th), I had a Myelogram and will know the results on this Weds., (Aug. 13th) when I see my NS. On the 11th (Monday), I am scheduled for Accupuncture (which was suggested by my Pain Specialist). Heck, I already feel like a pin cushion (like many of you...). But, I'll try just about anything to feel better! Sleeping soundly through an entire night. I've forgotten what that feels like. There is no comfortable and pain free position. When I ride in a car, this makes my pain worse (anyone else experiencing this?). My quality of life sucks big time! Hell, pain will wear the best of us down. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. However, I have been suffering since Dec. 2007, when I was rear-ended while sitting at an intersection waiting for the traffic signal to turn green. The person who hit me, never saw me (need I say more?). I'm not a complainer. In fact, usually, I'm always positive and encouraging others to stay strong. But, I am TIRED of suffering (now hold on...I'm not having suicidal thoughts). I just cannot imagine living the rest of my life like this (taking pain meds, P.T. and endless tests and Drs. appts.). I know there is a light at the end of this painful tunnel, I just want to see it ASAP :-). Now that I have vented, I would welcome any thoughts, suggestions, and words of encouragement. I love this site because I know I'm not alone. In other words, I have a great support system (family and friends). However, NO ONE can understand how we Spineys feel unless they have been and/or are going through this nightmare.

    Thanks in advance for your support :-).
  • pianogirl19,you seem to be doing all the right things medically. now you need to get your head in the right direction and that is one of acceptance. until you do that you will be on a constant merry go round. if your condition is there you ae going to have pain for as long as that is. and it will have to be treated daily. the only light i see at the end of the tunnel is maybe one day all pain even ours will be fixed. =D> until then you need to get hold of what is making up your life now! good luck and i hope you have many bright days. Jenny :)
  • You sound like you have really been thru the ringer! I know it's hard to have to stop doing something you love. I had a counselor tell me "Life changes." That sure doesn't make it any easier! And, I'm sure it's frustrating to go thru surgery, PT, etc. and not see results yet. Hopefully, your efforts will pay off soon, and you will begin to heal. Hang in there! And, good luck (we all need some!)---Mazy
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  • Each of of us cope with pain in different ways. I think that it starts with having positive affirmations and grows from there. Visualize what you need to accomplish in baby steps, can't expect to much at once. LOL

    Remember to let yourselves go through a grieving process, whatever it takes. Don't hold in those emotions, come here, VENT and SHARE the good and the not so good days.

    snookie, enjoy your kids and the bright eyed innocence they share with you.

    piangirl9, maybe you can't practice right now but can you find another way to express the music within you?


    Take care of you and don't be stubborn, ask for help. Answers are out there, just hard to find and will come around when you least expect it. Don't give up, we're here for you.
  • Good points Oriah, the aim is not to let these elements build up and however long you have been in pain your experience of coping and dealing with it does get better as you learn to find you limitations and be realistic if not upset by our new goal settings and attainments, what option do we have.

    You can live a more restricted life than necessary and sway from great pain to manic activity, the optimum is somewhere in between where ever that is for you as an individual and you have to find the threshold of activity without increasing pain and survival within those limitations.

    I have addressed all my issues simultaneously in the hope of overall improvement and that is tiresome, we are all allowed to become frustrated living this life and give yourself time and acknowledge your success however small with now more significance.

    Take care and be kind to yourself.

    John =D>
  • for all the replies. I'm really stuggling right now. Boyfriend of 2 years left cause he couldn't deal (I know better off without him but it still hurts). Between working full (WCB won't let me take any time off work), my kids, and fighting with the Doc I'm just getting frustrated. I am hoping that I can see a PM, there is only 1 in my city of 60 000 people so the waiting list is pretty long.
  • Yes it does make sense. My boys are what keep me going everyday. Looks like I have to get better at this coping thing cause PT gave up on my 1 1/2 months ago and today the Dr gave a 3 month RX and told me to come back when I get low. He said I have unidentified chronic pain, and I better get used to it.
  • I think that your body continually builds up a pain resistance so we can take much more pain then the normal person. When things get really bad we just do the things we HAVE to do.
    We push ourselves til we cant push any more...this an try to keep a positive attittude.

    Christina :)
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