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How do all of you cope?



  • Ive been suffering for 8 months now and live on my own with my daughter, Great friends and not overdoing it works for me, problem is Im so stubborn and dont like asking for help which luckily my friends and daughter have realised.

    Good luck, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and people on here are great with their advice and support. PM me if you need to xx
  • my husband became disabled 10 years ago from a medical negligience case of back surgery and ended up with front brain damage, stool that got in his incision from the narcan and that just did so much damage to his spine and they had to debride it and then 18 months later they found it in the bone so another surgery, then a spinal chord stimulator and that didn't do it so another surgery for a morphine pump and now he is on dilaudid which is manmade heroin and another drug in his pump and he takes 30 pills a day for pain, depression, and all the health problems that this has all caused..he is now bipolar and has post traumatic stress from icu when he almost everytime he goes to the hospital it is a nightmare for him as he thinks they are trying to kill him...then two years ago i finally had to have a fusion at the same level l5 s1 as i fell on ice 8 years i just found out last week that my neck now has two herniated disks as i had whiplash all these years and my low back has two more bulging disks, bursitis in both my hips as my spine is unstable and now seeing an orthopdic on monday morning ..i have been in physical therapy almost 3 years as it just seems like every part of me is going...but i can only say by the grace of god i have made it through all of this..and it is one day at a husbands spine is deterioting and he has had several more surgeries and is facing is so hard to see him suffer so i cannot show my pain but i do go to counseling and it does help...i have been in a support group for many years and that was one of the best things i did...depression is also something that goes along with chronic pain...i just posted a neat story about tony snow on my blog that my mom sent me..why me? here is my site...hugs, cheryl i am here if you need to daughters were 7, 9 and 12 when my husband became disabled and he has not driven due to the front brain damage so it is not easy and many days i wonder how much more but i know i cannot go past this day that i have now to enjoy...have a great weekend with your boys...they are only young once and remember that...cheryl
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  • Hello

    How do we all cope? When I first hurt my back I was 31 and out of work 2 1/2 yrs. I am 61 now.
    Yes 30 years of pain- rarely a day without some twinge or pain.

    What kept me going 30 years ago was my daughter who was 10 at the time.I was sole support as a divorced working teacher.

    There was no surgery or fixes then. The Orthopedic Surgeon then gave me 2 intrathecals (they do not do those anymore) and reduced pain 60%. I worked in 40% pain until 13 yrs later: 1993 - a miracle- nerve blocks. every 3-9 months.

    Then after all these years in 2007, they did not work and at age 60 I had to have back surgery.

    Well that worked for 6 months.

    Now, I am in Pain Managment and I guess what I am saying is I refuse to give up. If these blocks do not work, I am seeking a second opinion and maybe nerve ablation.

    At least they have meds and these things to help us today.
    And we have this site- Bless all who contribute.

    I figure if I can get up every day; help my daughter- I am retired as of age 49 due to a disease called PIDD- means you get pnemunonia etc (I am on IVIG for that). It is a good day.

    I had to give up babysitting the 2 1/2 yr old grandchild, I miss her dearly. But I have my six yr old grandchild with me daily in the summer. Takes your mind off the pain. Sometimes, I can not do that- and he goes to work with his MOm.

    That is another thing you do- let go of the things you can not do and enjoy those you can do.Leanr to say NO.

    Rest when your body tells you; let other people help. Keep Life Simple.
    Easy housework- easy cooking- easy everything and do not worry wbout what you miss in life.
    Concentrate on what you have.

    Betty RI Sharpie 60

    PLIF Oct 07
    with rods and screws and donated bone graft
    6 glorious pain free months
    fused (Neuro says)
    "Back settled " April 08 pain started again: GROIN PIRAFOMIS are the worst (Have no idea what that settling means )
    PM started 6-21--08
  • I concur with Haglandc on the way to deal. but i just learned to fight by not fighting the inevitable, i just let go,and put my energys into what i can do
    luck to ya!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • The same thing happened to me - rear-ended at a red light and I feel similar things to what you are feeling. I have gained so much compassion and empathy for people with chronic pain. I feel like I am also depressed because my family can't understand as much as they want to. It seems like everyone goes on with their life while yours as you knew it just stops. I have 2 young children and I need to be there for them. I know it was an "accident" but it makes me very angry that someone has done this to me and my family. At least here on this site you realize that you are not alone!
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  • Once again, I want to thank all of you for your responses. It looks like I will be putting them in to practise for a long time. Dr sent me away on Friday, no more treatment, just an RX to last 3 months. His parting words were that I don't need to come and see him anymore unless I'm low on meds.

    I'm still trying to come to terms with that, I didn't expect him to give up so soon.
  • Can you get a second opinion? I can imagine how upsetting that must have been to hear!
  • I am in Alberta Canada, and we have a major shortage of Dr's. There's something like an 11 month waiting list to get a family Dr. I also can't just phone an Ortho or NS cause here I need a refferal to see a specialist. It's so frustrating. I don't know what else to do, other than learn to deal with it (which I'm struggling with mentally and physically).
  • I've read everyone elses responses and I agree you just have to deal with it 24/7/365 days of the year!!! Pain meds, and everything else hasn't helped me yet but I'm waiting on GOD'S Healing hands. I go to Dr's and Hospitals but they don't help with the pain I have inside of me. Some folks that don't face what we go through don't understand why we always talk about being in pain all the time until one day it happens to them then they will remember what they said to someone a week ago about being in pain.

    I work in a place that demands heavy work load! I get screamed at because I'm not carrying my work load like I should but they don't know that I'm under Light Duty that means I can't lift 10lbs or more. I hear it all the time, "why don't she quit and work somewhere else and find someone else who will work." My boss puts me through Hell nags at me all the time, talks behind my back when he knows I can hear.

    I get up every morning and wish I was dead but I find that hard to believe that folks out their will miss treat you and they don't care, they don't have a heart! I try not to complain but when the pain is at its worst then I got too, just sometimesI go to the restroom and cry my eyes out then go back to work because I have bills to pay and I love getting nice things for my self and my baby doxie.

    I do ajust to my pain I don't get use to it though!!!!
    I don't take 20 pills for meds but I do take a lot of pills.
    Just lean on GODS help and the doctors to help deal with your pain and if the doctors aren't doing their job find another one like me!
  • On the subject of coping - well, sometimes I don't! But we all have our moments of weakness, and I very occasionally allow myself to fall apart (alone).

    Then I try to keep my head up and count my blessings as I am so blessed in other areas of my life. And I, too, have gained so much compassion and empathy for people with chronic pain (like my own mother, whom I used to get so frustrated with, and now she is the one who understands best what I am experiencing). Life has some interesting twists, doesn't it?

    DoxieCity04 - your story of your workplace breaks my heart, I'd like to show up there and kick your manager's you-know-what, except I'd probably herniate another disc. Your precious pooch is glad you get up every day, and I do hope you can find yourself in a better situation soon (work-wise or health-wise or both!)

    Jan 2009 L5-S1 ALIF
    May 2017 ALIF L4-L5 with PLF rods added L4-L5-S1
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