Husbands dealing with wives fibromyalgi

Hey everyone. I'm new to the site. I joined to hopefully get some advise on how to deal with my wife's fibromyalgia. My wife suffers from multiple diseases. Fibromyalgia, endometriosis, bladder disease, etc. 

We've been married for just over a year and she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at a pretty young age.  As her symptoms get worse and worse and the doctors don't really know how to help her, we're finding it to be affecting our marriage. Mainly our sex life. She has been unable to have sex with me because it is either to painful, or the meds she's on are affecting her second drive. As sex is an important part in a marriage, we've been lacking that intimate connection. I'm just wondering if anyone is experiencing the same thing and if anyone has any advice. It would be greatly appreciated. 

I feel like I do a pretty good job helping around the house. I understand that she can't always do the cleaning that needs to be done, so I try to help out as much as I can with that. But her symptoms seem to be getting worse and worse and I'm  getting overwhelmed with everything that needs to done. 



  • AJGormitAAJGormit Posts: 2,087
    edited 07/23/2019 - 1:08 PM

    hi mideroed

    Welcome to Veritas Health Forum

    there are a number of ways you can get support to work through this.  your doctor would be your first port of call and he/she can give you links to support systems to help you work through this.

    there are probably many members on here that struggle with many of these areas in their life and partners can help by offering intimate connections in different forms, to show the person in pain they are still loved and the rest will follow.  make it clear you love your wife and there is no pressure in this situation, just you showing her love and comfort that she will desperately need at this time.  somebody that has restrictions still has feelings and also has many guilty feelings about changes in a relationship that is out of their control.

    on the house front, housework is a thankless task unfortunately but maybe you can get some help from outside with this?

    i have added two links below to help new members with information.  there is lots of material to research that will give you the power of knowledge.

    welcome to spine health

    all new members should take the system tutorial 

  • Wow! I am sorry for that 

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  • I, too, am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. This condition, along with your wife's other diseases, can surely put a tremendous strain on a marriage. I have never had to experience painful intercourse; only the effects of pain medication. However, as we age and are dealing with his situations, such as erectile dysfunction, we have found other ways in which to make love. Having sex is one thing, while love-making is quite another, and doesn't necessarily have to involve intercourse. We are now in our 80s, and life is good! I so wish I could offer you more he

  • I am so sorry, in the process of trying to help my husband get some last minute birthday cards addressed, I inadvertently hit the button that posted my incomplete message to you. As I was saying, I do wish I could help you, but if my support counts for anything, you have it!

    I would like to suggest that if her pain meds are inhibiting the sex drive, she might try different timing in which to take them. For instance, my husband comes to bed around 11, so I take mine at 10. Perhaps this is not possible for her, but it's worth a thought, if you haven't had that thought already! I'm sure you already know this, but never underestimate the power of holding each other. This is how we end and begin each day. Sometimes this can lead to other, more sexual acts that do not require intercourse. In the meantime, as AJ suggested, the power of knowledge is invaluable, so do take advantage of what is out there.

    As for the housework and other chores, is there a chance that you could enlist a little outside help? I have adjusted my budget to accommodate a housekeeper once every two weeks. That's $160 monthly, but it's such a life-saver, as my husband is about as disabled as I am. Your situation is not the end of the road; it just seems like it at times. Your wife is so blessed in having someone in her life, who is understanding, helpful and most importantly, PATIENT. Now, I'm praying for some added blessings for you. I wish I could physically give you a hug right now.

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