Its simple really...Being Strong

When your other half decides that You..and your Issues are too much

And your watching them walk away

Its not better to stick and stay

Its not better to not want to be free

Scared to be by yourself.

Sometimes its about validation

But then again..if you..Need them to validate


Then you havent quite found your wings yet.

You Spiney..dont need anyone to "validate" who or what you are...your sufficient onto yourself.

If"they" want to walk away..let them.

Why put troubles on top of troubles

You have both hands why deal with those who double deal with you.

You are more than worthy you know.

Just because you are less able..doesnt make you any less valuable as a person.

Dont take on more trouble than you already own.

You dont need any outside have already paid that price. No person should own you.

Simplify.if they cant handle you..they..are not strong enough for you.

Life is hard enough as a Spiney..why burden your heart and soul .

Be strong

Be your own validation.

I am stronger now than years ago when i thought I"needed" a person to feel good about myself.

In turn a stronger person able to face the Spiney Martyrdom.

Its just life as a Spiney...all the normal issues as a pain and suffering creating extraordinary people.

We crack, we break..we put ourselves back together as best we can.

No one else but Spineys would understand the tiredness of ultimately having to stand alone with life and pain.

We are all unique humans living in extraordinary circumstances that normals have a hard time or cant comprehend.

This..dialog is just a slice of a Spineys life and how they cope.

If they wont stand up beside you

Support you

You dont need them.

Simplify your life.



  • it hurts me more than anything to think my wife suffers seeing me that this year I became different due to my back and neck problems.

    i cry when i cannot avoid it, and yes, by myself. We had much more fun and strolling outdoors, enjoying the weather, hot or cold walking our happy dog. I am strong and hideaway what I feel and want my family and relatives at bay. at work my standing desk exposes me and  I have to answer some questions...sigh...

    regardless, we will stand there no matter what because we love them and they love us.

  • We do what we do in order to survive.

    Sadly, some other halves dont know how to handle being on the sidelines of infirmity they cant fix in their loved ones.

    Some can and we communicate helps.

    At work, i dont want them to see me weak..but they know the brave face.

    I set limits as to what i can and cant do and enforced those limits to get respect.

    I miss long walks in the crackling cold..silence all around and soothing.

    I keep a cat..because cats are lazy ..mine is...and only requires tail scratches and food..

    Hang in there.!

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  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,163

    I see the pain in Tim's eyes for me as he watches me try to accomplish anything.
    I am one of the blessed and lucky ones, William. And your poems opens my eyes to this every time. 
    Thank you so much for your honest words.

  • God Bless you William. You deserve every pain free second, every kind word that could be said belongs to you mr spiney.  I’ve been reading this website a year and it’s definitely a community where people are here to help. Always in public or in private it’s like a family. Oh and I feel like the old guy who is wet behind the ears still 

  • This has never been about us Spineys only

    We have our...people

    Family,friends,co workers

    Ripples in our pond

    We are not the only ones living this

    The closer they are to the center the worse the sympathy\empathy overload can be i think.

    They,...cant fix whats hurting you.


    Reach,touch,move,push,pull smash, etc..etc..etc.

    They...cant protect you.

    And because of that you may become a stone.

    Either dragging them down,slowing them down...weighing them down emotionally. are still the bedrock, the foundational stone..the Cornerstone in the life you built together.

    But this is about you Spiney.

    You have to sometimes decide to cut toxic ties that bind.

    This is ever and only about your totality of existence.if it becomes toxic..your already sick and pressure emotional or mental is ultimately a detriment to your longetivity and total quality of life.

    If they belong to the first category and if you can..just go...its about maximising your quality of life and every facet.

    If its the second? Hang in there tooth and nail.

    We are in pain

    Its ok to not be strong 24\7\365

    As normals we didnt do that

    We can cry,complain,moan,make funny noises in restaraunts

    Why do we have to apologise for our condition...or is it a secret shame at our infermity..that somehow translates into our interactions with others.

    Me? it hurts 24\7...i make funny noises as i get up in restaraunts from hard chairs..have to build a bridge to straighten up..wait a minute to be limbered up enough to do my thing of the moment to get to the register.

    Maaaaan..the looks i get sometimes..i force a smile to make them relax and crack a joke

    I dont want or need that attention..

    I wake up at nite wondering what the heck that noise was..oh wait..its me,i think,sheepishly.

    We learn to cope,adapt,adjust.. whatever....


    May or will never adjust..its a whole nother level of maturity,mental and emotional.

    They will worry for you..because they see you..see them...see you in pain

    And its all the same book yall are reading.but did you tell each other how you feel Mentally,Physically and Emotionally.

    Write those pages together..its a WHOLE other level of intimacy.remember-nature,nurture may not have taught them about chronic pain and its totality-toll. can do this.its simple

    Sit down,grab a cuppa and tell them

    This is what happened

    This is what will happen...this its how its going to be until death do us part.

    They can take courage knowing that they are your bedrock..and you are still theirs.

    We are still the same inside

    Its outside the nugget that changed.

    Set your mind to what you want your life to be mentally and emotionally in the future and pursue that.

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