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My god help me someone

So in addition to Psoriatric arthritis, bone on bone knee arthritis, and lower spine arthritis, my life seems pretty much over. At 56 I work ft, and have horrific anxiety and am increasingly acrophobia. I can’t last 10 minutes in a store, panic about going anywhere because I don’t know if I can walk the short distance from a parking lot to , say a restaurant. Forget going to a movie. The last one I want to I had to drag myself up the stairs and nearly passed out from pain and exhaustion. Playing thr Dr. referral game Rheumy sends me to one Dr. who sends me to another, and so on. “ Nothing I can do” is what they all say. I am on Enebral injections, naproxen, prednisone when I have to, and a half a hydrocodin a day ( now up to one a day cut in half a.m and p.m) My rheum insists I do a sleep study for sleep apnea. He thanks that is why I am exhausted. Right. Thanks now I have to go to meet a Sleep study doc for one appt and then go to a sleep lab for a miserable sleep study. Never mind that I suspect the exhaustion is from being in severe pain 24 hrs a day. 

The Spine Specialist said there is nothing he can do - Maybe by try acupuncture, massage he suggested.


My Dr. who does Facet injections that provided great relief in the past told me ( after I waited weeks to get in and went over on my lunch hour like an idiot) that he could not do them that day as his “ radiation level was too high “ He also dropped the F-bomb while he was there, and when I asked him what I needed to do he just said” I feel you are questioning me! he slowly lowered the table and said “ I’m not going to do this, I am in a bad mood anyway today” and I was dismissed basically.

My orthopedic Dr. who I met with about a year and a half ago, (and had not seen since until the pain in my knees became so nausingly painful and debilitating) I made an apt with hoping he could do something, anything, and yes maybe now I would even consider knee replacement  - walked into the room with a hearty hello followed by “ Well I tell you one thing, we can’t do surgery until you lose weight!” He literally did not even e even n look at me or ask why I was there! I’m a frickin human being! I took a half day off from work - wore one of my nicest outfits so he would see he would maybe speak to me with a bit more of a professional attitude  ( in my warped pain, depressed, anxiety ridden mind) and instead was treated like a hog who eats cheesesteak sandwiches in bed washing them down with milkshakes.  I actually have little appetite and live on a 399 cal frozen lunch, or cheese and crackers because my stomach is a wreck

He gave me two steroid knee injections as a consolation  prize said he was going to weigh me and give me a pamphlet  and he was gone. Oh I did ask about knee brace

He said don’t  bother you can get one on line for $12 just as good, Poof- gone - gee don’t let me forget the Arthritis brochure you promised,: you know the one that looks like the 80’s called and want there brochure backThe one with the elderly couple looking like they were holding each other up. That is not confidence boosting brochure. Perhaps a bit more cutting edge? So now I told you I am crippled and can’t walk and spend every minute I don’t work, in bed,nothing you can do for now see you in three months when you lose weight, thanks I am so happy i came today.

Gosh, should I maybe take up runnung, tennis? The struggle to get up blow dry my hair and get dressed each day while crying is as much excercize I I can ,manage- gee bet the weight will vp come  pouring off now.. Thank you for that helpful insulting suggestion and for taking ten minutes with mr. I guess I had nothing to discuss after all. You one word answere and dismissiness  wth no suggestion or hope left me in tears Oh sorry that was when you were injectng my knees with steroids and asked if we were going to our Florida trip rhis year. That’s when tears came. It was something we lived for each year our trip to a lovely resort in aFt. Myers. It was our once a year happiness. I look forward to it as it gives me something to look forward to - and amazing joy. Not this yea

So I have been humiliated, dismissed, ignored, blown off, embarrassed but not helped. And now here it is just before Christmas and I literally cant get out if pain. I’ve had to shop pnline and amfinding it hard to oncrate   I missed the amazon cutoff as I was driving nyseif crazy with indecision and just want this over. So tired as usual,





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Comments

  • Honey, I can so relate to being tired of pain stealing my life and going from doctor to doctor with no results. But we can't give up on life, you are still young and have a lot to give. Personally I would find a really good pain management doctor, one who can examine you as well as do procedures. I did (thank God) and feel like he can help without running from one doctor to the other. I know it's tempting to just give up and give in to living like an invalid but we can't let the pain win! Be your own advocate, you are not a victim! With all you've put up with, tells me you're a strong person, you can do this. I'll be praying for you! 

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 3,399
    edited 07/23/2019 - 1:08 PM

    honey007
    welcome to spine healt
    all new members should take the system tutorial

    one of the first things you can do for yourself is read the 2 above replies over and over again. we don't want people to just give up, you've gone this far. years ago i went through 17 doctors before i had my first surgery. talk about not giving up! 
    but now i have a pain pump and in my wheelchair most of the day. i am not a candidate for surgery but i'm still trying to find that little extra pain relief. 
    a lot of what we go through, being chronic pain patients, is having to give up things we enjoy doing. and i've had to give up my fair share as well as other members have too. our annual trips to see our kids, grand kids and great grand kids are over so they come up here. we get depressed, we scream and we cry, but we don't give up trying.
    if nothing else i hope by being here you have found you are not alone. and as you cam see, will get all the support you want.

    have a wonderful holiday and hope to hear from you soon.

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