I had surgery the day before Thanksgiving 2018. I had about a week to wrap my brain around the fact that at 36, my lower lumbar area was trashed. Relieved that I had answers for the constant pain for four plus years prior, I was terrified. Now here I am, 3 months post surgery (almost to the day), and I feel like a zombie! Anything but what I used to feel like. The pain has gotten far better, the nerve and muscle pain is worse on same days and better on others. This surgery has changed my life. I’m grateful for the fact that I can walk, I’m healthy (had cancer in my twenties). After loosing my job because I wasn’t able to return to work after two weeks, I was so fortunate to find a good paying remote position that lets me work from home on a flexible schedule.. Life is good, so why do I feel so restless, “blue”, cut off from the world and just in a funk? Anyone else experience this? My surgery left me with 2 cavadvar vertebrae, Rods and pins from L1 to S1, 23 bone grafts and almost 400 stitches to hopefully mend the nerve damage..