Good afternoon everyone,
Today I am going to ask some very tough questions. Questions without answers, we have all been there. One thing is for sure. We all share the same need to rid ourselves of this relentless pain. Alright then, lets all get started. I warn you though, it gets deep where I am going.
Have you come to the realization you have crossed a line drawn in the sand? A line once stepped over, there is no return from? I know this sounds morbid but its not meant to be. Nothing in my life has prepared me for how I am now living. As we grow up as children we all are so preoccupied by life we never give a thought to what our later years maybe like. I must confess I was totally ignorant of how life in chronic pain would feel. After having suffered the effects of aging I can honestly say my eyes have been opened to the reality of chronic pain. As much as I love all my drs there is only so much they can do. I naively thought modern medicine would prevail and we would all live near pain free lives.
Enter here the word HOPE. Without hope we are destined to failure. We must believe there is a chance of getting better. Nothing will paralyze us quicker than loss of hope. Never ever give up. This means giving of yourself to lift up another person who may have fallen. We are all vulnerable and afraid. Reach out to others even when it hurts to do so. The bond of love is unbreakable. Doing something out of love is the ultimate sacrifice. Showing love toward others leaves us so vulnerable--yet nothing touches the soul more deeply or satisfies the spirit so completely.
When I was a young man I used to spend a lot of time with my retired Grandfather. I watched him as he aged and it was an eye opening experience. He suffered with DDD and arthritis just as I do now. I should have realized at that point in time how my own life would eventually evolve. My Grandfather would look back on his life and talk with such fondness about his job and how he missed working. I never understood this zeal for working until I myself aged and became a chronic pain patient. I don't think its so much working I miss but the ability to work or more to the point, being able to work and live life without pain and the emotional turmoil that goes along with it.
Should we have surgery and face an unknown outcome or avoid surgery and live with our situation? There is no clear answer to this question. I personally want to go on record as saying I absolutely wish I had not had surgery. I would not say it made me worse so much as I traded one set of symptoms for another. It matters little in my situation as I am still in pain. I acknowledge people have great outcomes and move on with their lives.
Lastly how do we deal with chronic pain when we have other health issues going on at the same time? This is really hard to answer. I cant believe I am saying this but I long for the days when I only had spine pain. I am really struggling with other problems and the wheels of medicine turn so slow at times. I truly have crossed over the line I spoke of earlier. I must now stand firm and work through all my medical problems as best I can. I will say I cant do this alone. I am holding fast to my faith. I have heard others say that religion is nothing more than a crutch people use when they cant explain or cope with life's situations. I readily agree with that statement but would add my crutch is in the form of a Cross. I use it daily to help me walk. Without it I would surely fall -- never to get up.
No matter what your personal belief system is -- it is my privilege to pray for you. I am happy to do so.
In life there are no guarantees or exemptions from pain and suffering. I number myself with all of you on SH. By standing together and supporting one another we can get through this. Just knowing others care how I am doing and really want to help by praying for me is my great reward. I thank you for those prayers.