There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.

This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

See the Veritas Health sites:,,, for medical articles and videos.

Family Ties - How do we keep from driving them away?

Alex P. Keaton May have not been understood by his family, but nevertheless, they were a family “dependent” upon one another. When one of them hurt, it didn’t matter if no one understood, or even agreed, They just stuck together because they loved each other. They understood.They shared Family Ties!

I often find myself, in an effort to just stay sane, mostly during times of max pain, that I find myself unknowingly moaning, or at the worst of times even at the worst of times lashing out at the pain itself in anger, and one of my loved ones notices, not EVERY time, but here and there, time and time again, until you wonder if they are just sick of you. Most of the time, you hide it. But eventually...

So, how do those of us with chronic pain keep from driving our loved ones away as we navigate the pain pathway and still keep our “family ties”? I have my way. What’s yours?

(Sorry for the parallelism. I was gunna rant, but chose this route instead. Sue me!)

Glen - Ps 20



  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 6,443

    I think my husband is used to it. All of the little moans and big sighs, laying across the dinning room table to stretch. He doesn't ask "are you hurting" anymore, he knows I am. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care. Does it drive him away, no. He is my caregiver and I don't know what I would do without him.

  • You are truly blessed!

  • advertisement
  • David, I can relate, brother. I can relate!
  • So, I guess it’s just me!

  • Thnx D. I just see myself pushing everyone away when I’m in pain, when all I want and need is for them to be closer than ever! I try to hold it all in, but I just don’t understand the simple stuff. I’ll figure it out, always do!

  • advertisement
  • challengercchallenger Posts: 1,209
    edited 07/18/2019 - 1:44 PM


    This all comes down to acceptance, the first person to accept your pain is you, that is the hard part of all this, I have been dealing with some form of pain for 32 years, the last 5 have been the worst, your body and mind go into a mourning stage, you still want to do all of the thing's you used to, but you can't, once you accept that and find the thing's you can still do and enjoy or new thing's that bring enjoyment, it becomes somewhat easier, you also have to remember that friends and family need time to adjust to the new you, family and true friends that truly love you will always be there, but you still have to treat them with respect, even on your worst days, that can be the hard part.


  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 6,443


    Chip put it so well. Acceptance, what we can't do anymore. Then you look for what you can do and enjoy doing.
    I loved riding my Harley, 4 wheeler and yard tractor. Those were my passions. But they are gone now but gained acceptance of what I have wrong and moved on. 
    When someone ask my husband how I am doing, it is usually, when is she going to get better. He tells them she's not but would enjoy a visit from you. Well, that never happens because they think all I will talk about is my pain. Sound familiar?

    Please take care and let us know how you are doing.

Sign In or Join Us to comment.