advertisement
advertisement

Why do we Suffer?

Merry Christmas to all the kind people who frequent Spine Health and to the loving and caring moderators.

Today I am going to ask some question that are going to be really hard to answer.  I would like for anyone with an opinion to respond please.  A gentle reminder--I know people have opinions based on their faith or lack thereof.  Please remember this is not a debate about the pros and cons of theism.  Thank you.  All opinions and viewpoints are welcome.   

My first question is why do you believe some people suffer from pain while others go their whole lives in relatively good health? 

My second question-- is there anything positive to be learned from living your life in chronic pain?

My third question is how has chronic pain changed who you are and what you believe about your life?   

Lastly do you really believe others such as your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, child or friend who DOES NOT live in chronic pain truly understand what living in chronic pain is really like? 

I will answer these question myself after I get some feedback from others here on the forum. 

Thank you

dale

advertisement

Comments

  • Elisabeth Elliot is my favorite author on the topic of suffering. Check out her book “Suffering Is Never For Nothing.”

  • Hi L4-L5,

    Thank you for the book recommendation.  I would really like your opinion to the questions I posed.  I am looking for the opinions of those who live in constant pain.  There is no right or wrong.  Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

    thanks

    dale

  • advertisement
  • I have pain..but i dont "suffer"

    Thats in my head..i have physical pain... that is dealt with mentally and emotionally.you get used to it and move on because life goes on.

    I choose not to suffer because its a vast waste of time to wallow there.physically,mentally and emotionally i balance worry,  exhaustion and negative thinking pattern's 

    It never stops..its an ongoing process because pain doesnt stop.i chose  to be alive rather than helpless

    Most people it seems get caught in the rut and never get out

    Its a nature...nurture thing

    I choose to live and do despite everything and its funny how people cant figure it out. Some people get mad,some shake  their  heads...some say you must not be hurt that bad..i give them the ok sign because i really haven't got time to deal with other peoples neurosis..plural or other hang ups.

    I do me...i cant or-nor wont exchange peace of mind to meet someones idea of how a person in chronic pain should act. I do what makes me happy to counter balance the bad.

    Other chronic pain sufferers in my circle are among the suspects. Their nature- nurture would not work for me.

    Dealing with pain most of my life, having people around me who weathered heavy pain taught me how to handle it. My veteran friends who deal with chronic pain from having been wounded in action or chemical injuries taught me things 

    Attitude determines outcome ...having a chronic bad attitude will give the outcome inevitably bound to such attitudes.  

    Its  easy to fall into a funk and bad attitude..the real work is maintaining a positive affirming outlook. 

    Free your glutes..your mind will follow.,get counseling,there is no stigma to reaching out for a helping hand when its all too much...you never ever have to go it alone..if you dont know how to ask? Just say what you need to say

    My attitude and outlook  seems difficult to understand for some..and thats ok because it keeps me going and in a positive state..which affects my entire ecosystem to keep going forward.

    It is a mercenary draconian outlook. A..devil take the hindmost..but after 20 years ive done my share to help others along..when i myself needed help. Were all of age to not need molly coddling. That said..the newbie to chronic pain still gets me because they still have a long ways to go before the mindset re aligns itself to a new reality..new physical,mental and emotional limits..they have my heart.

    There are no shortcuts to coming to terms with pain.you either do or dont

    Wither or bloom through the pavement

    You fight...or stay a victim to the pain

    Its a choice


  • William,Thank you for the wake up call. You have a great attitude and I will try to remember your words when I get stuck in the pain trap. Sometimes I hate the emotional pain more than the physical.Its been many years for me but as I get more limited physically I have to adjust my attitude.The past few weeks have been a mental challenge and I hate it.  A bad attitude only increases pain. So thank you.Stay strong and I will definitely get a better attitude. Maybe smile a little more. That’s my choice like you said and I choose not to be a prisoner of chronic pain.

  • Nancyann

    Good on you!..attitude is half the fight and you  are a champion!

  • advertisement
  • William, if the above statements you made work for you then by all means go for it.  I am happy you have peace with your life.

    I am the type of person who needs love, compassion and understanding to carry me through.  Especially the love of others. 

    The questions I asked were meant to help us all understand how pain has changed us.  I admit I see life through the lens of my faith.  I work within the framework of the group concept.  I thrive when I connect with others and can give back the love and understand others give to me. 

    I hope to hear from others who are willing to speak from the heart. 

    Again all opinions are welcome.  No condemnation here.

    God bless us all

    dale

  • Dale, To answer your first question, I believe I will only know that answer when I leave this world. There is no logical explanation especially when you see terminally ill children. There must be some good that comes out of a life with chronic pain. According to my faith suffering can bring us closer to God. It’s an opportunity to pray more and quiet the soul. Unless you get into that mental rut of depression and anxiety, which can be worse all around.Chronic pain has brought me closer to God. It has made my 35 year marriage stronger. I cannot answer those questions without bringing religion into it. This forum helps keep things in perspective like William’s post did for me tonight. Great questions for thought. 

  • Dale

    Where we diverge respectfully is that i am self actualising,self motivating and dont need validating from anyone. No disrespect intended..but i waited for that train and it never came.

    I am a black sheep and really dont need anyone to push a start button...i have myself and no one to blame for my triumphs..and failures.

    I do listen however to certain of people who do have proven good intentions toward me and d take such advice with all due seriousness...i am not monolithic and do love smarter people than me..i view them as Sensei because they meet my expectations of behavior toward others.

    I am EXTREMELY fortunate to have around me highly motivated people who put people first.  

    I am learning to live every day

  • dmoddmo Posts: 580
    edited 12/22/2019 - 10:26 AM

    William and Nancyann,

    I value your opinions and all are appreciated within the scope of this discussion. 

    Like Nancyann I am also of the opinion that pain serves a purpose in our faith.  Pain encourages us to reach out and connect to others.  It brings out feelings from deep within the heart.  Compassion, understanding and ultimately love and respect.  It cuts through the walls people tend to erect around themselves.  Weather the walls are for protection from the pain or as class barriers, still in the end the walls do come down. 

    For those of us with the inclination-- pain causes us to seek help from on High.  I am such a person.  I am not a lone reed swaying in the wind.  I am one who begs for mercy from the Creator.  As was said by a prophet, "Will not the Creator of all the Universe do what is right?"   I believe He will.  I stand by this conviction and bet my eternity on it.  I realize this is my opinion and certainly don't force it on anyone else.  Respectfully this is one train I do not intend to miss. 

    Again I want to make it clear I harbor no ill will or resentment as all opinions are welcome here.  Diversity of opinions is a good thing.

    God bless

    dale

  • Hi dmo 

    My first answer is , some are unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and an accident or injury or chosen employment broke or wore our spines down.  Physical labour jobs don’t help us. 

    The 2nd is the only positive is you very quickly learn who your real family and friends are. it’s draining and slowly eating my life away. 

    3rd Chronic pain has changed me, it has taken the life from me, now I just exist. I can’t do my hobbies any more , fishing, kayaking, quad riding , horse riding ect ect . It has turned me into an empty shell of who I was.   

      I suppose I am lucky , my kids and friends do understand what I am going through. They knew the me before this chronic pain life .  Husband NO.                                                                              I have just had another big chunk cut out of my face due to skin cancer and I am irritable more so and know who really care are there asking how am I.                                                                     I don’t have a religion or faith . But that’s my that’s my choice. Harpy

  • dmoddmo Posts: 580
    edited 12/23/2019 - 10:18 AM

    Hello Harpy,

    Thank you for your thoughts on our mutual pain and suffering.  I can identify with being unlucky and possibly being in an accident which causes disc and joint decay.  I have been in a few car accidents in the past and often wondered if they contributed to my spine issues. 

    I can also see your point of being able to quickly tell who it is in your life who actually cares about your circumstances.  Family and friends quickly tire of hearing about our pain and endless drs appointments. 

    I agree chronic pain does change us.  Some for the better some for the worse.  I can honestly say I am MUCH MORE compassionate toward others I know who suffer in pain.  I also care more about people I don't even know who may need financial help or any other type of assistance.  I work in the soup kitchen when possible in my little town.  When our church takes its turn manning the soup lines my wife and I prepare food and serve the homeless and those in need.  It is very humbling and fulfilling for me.   I am so thankful to still be able to help others.  It is a shame it took such life altering changes and much pain to make me see the necessity of helping others. 

    I am sorry your husband is not supportive.  I am not sure if I understand this part of your message--husband NO, meaning he is not there for you.  I know my wife gets tired of hearing how much I hurt on bad days. 

    My faith is a big part of my life now.  It gives me such peace to belong to my Church group.  All the people caring and sharing their lives with one another.  The love these people show me is amazing.  Love is truly God's greatest gift to us all.

    dale

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,464

    Dale

    First question: I believe it's genetics as well as like harpy stated, our living and working conditions.
    Dealing with multiple issues as I do has made me find a balance in my life. I've more patience and tolerance than I ever had. I've also learned there are others who are worse off. I don't suffer, I'm in pain but not suffering.

    Chronic pain has not changed my heart or what I believe in. It has changed my lifestyle drastically. But I'm not depressed about it anymore. It is what it is. I am just thankful to have this forum that gives me so much support. 

    I am also blessed to have my husband who does understand.  He knows when I'm having a bad day,  I don't have to tell him. My family also understands.

    Merry Christmas to everyone!!
    Sandra


  • dmoddmo Posts: 580
    edited 12/23/2019 - 1:58 PM

    This may come as a surprise to some here but living in pain has opened another dimension of my life that I never had access to before.  When I was feeling fine and in the prime of my life I never thought about those who were hurting and struggling with so many things in their lives.  I was just oblivious to it all.  What is worse-- I did not even care.  These statements certainly portray my past in the worst possible light.  I am so thankful those days are far behind me now. 

    Sandra has a great husband who is both loving and kind.  I hear story after story of those less fortunate.  Stories of both husbands and wives who are unwilling to help shoulder the extra work and care necessary to help those who are in pain and possibly partially crippled by their situations.  We truly do live in such a "Fallen World". 

    I live in pain and by my own definition I do feel that I suffer.  I say this because I do mourn the loss of my job and my freedom of movement just to mention a few of the things in my life I miss.  I am surprised myself at how much I miss being with my friends at work and the independence I used to have that resulted from working.  I chalk up the loss of my job to God's will.    The last six months I worked were the worst for me as working just made the pain unbearable.  I was hardheaded and refused to quit even though my wife told me over and over I was only making my life miserable.  I was truly a foolish person. 

    I want to make this statement.  "All of life is about love, both receiving love and giving love".  Men and women strive after many things during the times of their lives.  Some want money, others want power or position.  In the end love is truly all that matters.  Loving others and being loved is truly what life is all about.  All the rest is just smoke and mirrors.  We love our wives, our husbands and our children. We even love our pets.  When we lose love we suffer the most.  The loss of a spouse, parent or child is the greatest loss of all.  Some people love money but it is a poor substitute for a warm body on a cold night.  The touch of flesh upon flesh knows no substitute. 

    The greatest statement I have ever heard  --  "God gave that which he loved the most for us all". 

    dale


  • Wow Dale, you never ask easy questions, lol.  I looked up the definition of suffering.....the experience of pain or distress....so if that is accurate, we all have suffered or will suffer in some way. Semantics, maybe. But I believe is it's how we respond to suffering that makes the difference. Don't get me wrong I'm not perfect at it by a long shot but when I "surrender" and accept what is and what I CAN do I'm SO much more content. 


    Ok, first question, I believe we suffer because of original sin (not a popular word) these days. Yes I have faith and believe that God didn't create the world this way (or us), we messed it up (Genesis 3), we decided to do it our own way. I believe he will restore all things (including me) because He is merciful, He sent His Son to live that perfect life and give His life as a perfect sacrifice for us. The whole story is in the Bible and I'm not trying to convince anyone, not possible because it's a personal decision not understood by intellect but the heart. But as He did with His Son's suffering, He uses ours for good. Obviously I don't believe in luck or fate. As to why some suffer and some do not, I believe that's God's territory and who can know the mind of God. There are also many different types of pain and as we all know, you can't see it from the outside. "Most men live lives of quiet desperation" .


    I'm getting too long here so I'll briefly answer the other questions. I believe as has been said that this chronic pain has brought me closer to God and to others and given me more of a heart of compassion. It has taught me to ask for help, to be vulnerable which allows others to open up. It has made me "approachable" in ways I never was before because I thought I didn't need any one. I now believe life is more about others than myself or my own needs and so much more. It has broken open the hard shell that I used to be. Pain (and the God who allowed it) has changed me from the inside out. 


    I have been blessed to have people who understand in my life. My husband did, I have wonderful family and friends , some totally get it, others not so much but they haven't rejected me. Yeah they go on with life but how much can I expect?! Do I feel alone and down sometimes,  sure who doesn't but I know where my strength comes from. Anyway, these are my views and if anyone is offended, blame Dale hahaha. 


  • Merry Christmas to all,

    The question of pain and suffering is indeed a difficult one.  How could something so merciless and maddening be anything but evil.  Yet it does help us to gain perspective and affords compassion and understanding to those who are within its grasp.

    I would say yet again pain teaches me respect and humility.  I thank God when my day has been easy and my pain less pronounced.  In the end I get through my pain one day at the time. 

    I honestly do feel pain makes us weary of life.  How I long for the days of my youth.  Not to live them over again but to be free of the bondage which pain brings with it. 

    I often look at pain as another step toward heaven.  Pain makes me long for a different world.  One where love replaces hate.  Where happiness replaces pain. 

    In the end pain has made me a better person.  More humble, more caring and less judgmental.  The problem is now that I have learned my lesson why does the pain persist?  Lol.  I guess I still have more to learn.  :)

    dale

  • jbowerjbower wisconsin Posts: 170

    1. Genetics and how you live your early years.  Some also have an accident that spirals into some chronic issue that never gets relieved.  You have doctors out there that care more about a paycheck rather than caring about their patients.  From what I have seen is family care doctors show more consideration towards their patients.  Unfortunately they are not able to preform the "level" of "care" that causes you to have to find a specialist.  One doctor does one thing that leads to another issue that they don't do so you get pushed to another doctor and so on and so forth.  Some of us are less fortunate where we find a doctor who preforms a surgery that causes more pain then you started with because you gave your trust in what they were saying.  Then after you begin having complications guess what, they refer you to someone else.  For some, they get lucky and for others we find doctors that could care less that they made their patients worse off.

    2. What positivity comes from living with chronic pain.  You can share your story with others to give them ideas on what they may or may not experience.  From there you have a chance to gain a friend or two that you are able to communicate with as they have similar issues and between those friends you or them might gain knowledge to help seek out different alternatives to try yourself.  This forum is a perfect example of this.  For many, including myself, this is somewhere that you feel safe to voice your opinions without being judged and able to feel better getting things off your chest that your family or spouse cannot understand what you deal with every day because they haven't experienced it themselves.

    3. How has chronic pain changed me.  I went from being a teenager who was in the best physical shape.  From there I joined the military and became even more healthy then ever.  I gained pride in serving our country and providing protection when needed.  Once everything started going downhill my pride was thrown away as the military has no need for someone who can no longer preform duty.  They kick you out just like that. Did that bring me down? Heck yeah it did but I then told myself I will get fixed and get my life back to normal. Which I did after my first surgery for a year and then it completely went downhill and continues to go downhill.  Doctor after doctor telling me they can't do anything for me and to learn how to deal with it. 

    After hearing that over and over again it begins to break you down inside.  It broke me down so much at one time where I got back to my car from another useless appointment that I just cried because at that moment I realized, this is it.  This is now my life and the older I get the worse off it will get.  I feel ashamed to my family and children.  Hearing my 5 year old son saying, Oh I have to take a break because my back hurts like daddies.  That was a dagger in my heart because that's how he sees me.  That's what has caused my depression causing me to be on more meds to try and control it.  But it's true, I can't do everything I used to with my children because of all this.  The doctors don't care about that.  

    4.  Does my wife or children understand what I live through day in and day out, the answer is no.  My relationship with my wife has caused a lot of tension and arguments because she doesn't understand what I live with.  At times she does understand but there are more times she doesn't.  She thinks I'm being lazy at times when I can't completely help.  I do what I can which most times I push myself more than I should just so we don't fight.  But that just makes my pain even worse off.  

    There was one instance where she did understand after she had foot surgery.  She came down to my level of what I go through day in and day out.  The problem with that is after she healed then that sympathy went out the window.  It brings on a lot of different emotions that I feel because of it.  I fall into depression where I isolate myself, feel like a less of a man or even think she would be better off finding someone else who is healthy.  We are only 37 and have a lot of life ahead of us.  

    Then on top of everything we have the financial aspect of things.  The medical bills continue to increase every time I have to see a doctor or my pain management doctor.  Yes I am on a payment plan with more than one place but we can never get ahead because I have to go in every 2 months for a pain pump refill. Even after insurance I still get a bill for over $500 each time.  Why, because medical facilities can charge what ever they want and we cant do anything about it.  Medical is not regulated in this country and that is why so many people are debt.  Medical debt is one of the main reasons people file for bankruptcy.  It is a shame what these medical facilities do to everyone.

    There are also times that I am happy and push the pain out of my mind but when there is too much tension in the house it makes things worse off.  I just want some point of a normal life again.  To be lucky enough to find that right doctor who can actually help me.  It has been a long road and will continue to be as I continue my search for that doctor.

    Geez Dale, I feel worse by answering your questions.  I should have left it alone....lol

    Jason 

  • Hi Jason,

    I am sorry all this is so traumatizing.  It is certainly a lot to think about.  I can honestly say your answers mirror my own to a good degree. 

    To me a positive is that I am much more humbled and caring toward others now.  You are so right in that until someone lives our life they cannot possibly understand how much chronic pain changes us. 

    I am fortunate in that I am at retirement age now so I don't have to worry about a paycheck any longer.  At your age all of this is just a nightmare to be sure. 

    Another positive for me is all my drs are caring and actually do everything in their power to help me. 

    I know at your age you have a tough road ahead.  I will say this, as your wife ages she will become more compassionate.  I still push through the pain and grab the vacuum or weed the garden right beside my wife.  I pay dearly that afternoon and all the next day but I think my wife does respect my effort.  It should not be that way but as you said we are viewed as lazy even by our spouses at times. 

    Last but not least for me I have my faith. 

    Thank you for taking the time to answer

    dale

  • Very thought provoking questions, but there are no real answers. Much of our lives are a series of problems that are out of our control. For me, chronic pain is one of the most difficult challengers I have had to face. But, I can think of a lot worse. There is always hope that something will come along that will help. I am grateful for the days I am in a little less pain. However, some days, I do not know how I will find the strength to go one more day in agony. 

  • Hi Sitsalot,

    My biggest reason for asking these questions is really for my own curiosity.  I often see people ten or twenty years older than I am who are in relatively good health.  No real pain to speak of other than maybe morning stiffness.  Makes me wonder how I got so lucky to have pain everyday. 

    You are quite right in that there are no absolutes in the world of chronic pain.  I am very thankful when my pain is low grade.  I believe we all practice certain tricks we learn to help us live as pain free as possible. 

    God bless

    dale

  • Aldo60AAldo60 Posts: 11
    edited 02/10/2020 - 3:23 PM

    Jason and dmo, boy oh boy, you guys are spot o  with your comments.  Jason, your descriptions of the added disress and anxiety stemming from the internal family issues is very common to people with chronic pain.  I have a personal very long story, that would pages to write.  In a nutshell, 68 years old, pain and stiffness sufferor for at least 35 to 40 years.  Who k ew that a fractured right femur at age 15  resulting in a 1 inch shorter right leg woul wreak the spinal havoc I have endured for so many years.  Stupidly, I shrugged it off for many years and really focused on getting tests and answers over the past 10 years.  My conditions include many things affecting my entire spine.  DDD throughout, facet joint arthritis,  stenosis in lumbar discs, cervical discs, disc herniations at few levels, fibromyalgia.  I have tinnitus, TMJ syndrome, (the cervical discs have a tremendous affect to your nervous system which affects bladder, bowel, balance, and of course  temporal headaches), overactive bladder with incontinence,  my quads hurt and the quads , the hamstrings, and the calf muscles are  cramping upon a simple flexing.  I have tried many, many things: PT numerous times, 4 chiropractors, epidural and facet joint injections,  non surgical spinal decompression,  all offered very slight results.  I endure a terrible chronic pain/ anxiety cycle. I consume as many anti inflammatory nutrients that I become aware of:  tumeric (off and on because it does cause stomach upsets to me), Boswellia,  Bromelain, multi vitamins,  extra Ester C,  etc, etc, .  I'm on Gabapentin, Prozac, with light dosages  take occassional Advil or Alleve, and see a neural psychologist for chronic pain as well as regular visits to PM doctor.  Been to see many doctors.  RA was ruled out, and so far as we can tell, I dont have anklyosing spondolytis (AS)  which is natural arthritic fusing of the verterbrea in the spine.  One fact learned is that apparently, if you suffer with sacroiliitis,  that condition is ground zero for spinal issues,  your Hips too.  According to my rheumatologist, those problems are a major contributor to spinal pain.  Many nerves pass down and through your sacroiliac joints.

    Jason,  my family is older.  I have 3 grandkids now and LOVE them to death (poor selection of words), but I have complained to my wife of 45 years for years, everyday.  Brow beating her into anger , tension and aggitation.  I stopped that.  It makes things worse.  Only until she had knee surgery for a torn meniscus,  did she begin to understand to a limited extent what it means to have chronic pain, limited mobility,  stiffness (which is the absolute worse for me), everyday!!!!! 

    Checkout Youtube videos from  on line.  They and others offer much advice and explanations that other doctors don't.  Oh yeah, I have been too 7 spinal and neuro surgeons, all oipined that No Surgery for my lumbar spine way too much arthritis,  maybe just  maybe a candidate for cervical fusion of C4 thru C7  if the pain becomes unbearble.  Surgeons want operate after all else doesnt work, BUT will only do it it there is at least 80% success rate of alleviation of pain and or otber conditions.  It reflects on them and the hoslitals.  

    God Bless you all fellow sufferors!!  PS.  Try relaxation methods of meditation , it can help.

    Edited to remove physician's names.

  • I believe it is only natural for people who have not experienced chronic pain to be unable to comprehend how horrible it really is.  I can hardly comprehend it myself. 

    Worse things follow on the heels of chronic pain.  Having other issues along with chronic pain can be life altering.  I live my life between good and bad days.  I hope for good days but unfortunately experience bad days also. 

    I think the biggest thing we chronic pain patients learn is not to vent our anger and frustration on our loved ones.  It is simply futile to do so. 

    God bless

    dale

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,464

    Aldo60

    Welcome to the Forum!! And thank you so much for your contribution to the forum. Unfortunately, I had to edit out the physician's names you mentioned as this is against the rules. 

    This forum is a great place for you to meet and get to know some of our wonderful members who you may have a lot in common with, like dmo and Jason and many more. We all have one thing in common, chronic pain. 

    Again, thanks for being here.
    Sandra
    Veritas Health Forum Moderator

  • Jason, It’s very hard to come to terms with the no cure,no end to chronic pain. Sometimes that alone is so frustrating and depressing. After 30 years I still get depressed when my back pain keeps me couch bound for a few days. It eases up then hurts again. Same with my neck and migraines. I get very anxious when my tramadol and advil don’t work. I hate that I cannot exercise the way I did when it was only migraines. It seems impossible to stay in shape with disc problems. This site is great when you feel alone. There are some very inspirational people here. It’s a good place to vent. Hope today was a good one!

  • Aldo,I also have 3 grandchildren. They are a blessing. My daughters grew up with me having multiple migraines a week. My grandchildren are still toddlers but they know Nonna’s neck hurts when I wear a cervical collar. I can’t be the active grandmother I envisioned myself to be. They love me for who I am and that is a blessing. 

  • Joel1QJoel1Q Posts: 374
    edited 02/10/2020 - 10:40 PM

    Dale 

    My first question is why do you believe some people suffer from pain while others go their whole lives in relatively good health?  

    Other than an accident....Luck? Bad luck?  Had I known then what I know now of the spine and how critical and delicate it is, I would not have done so much manual labor for work.  I think it was pre determined that I end up in this place on this path, but don’t really know the reason yet.  Hereditary has a lot to do with it, I should have paid more attention to my grandparents turning into hunchbacks   


    My second question-- is there anything positive to be learned from living your life in chronic pain?

    I am so much more cognizant of others in pain than before 10 years ago I had no clue...And really didn’t get a clue until surgery knocked me down hard two years ago, and I met others way worse off than I.  I’m sure there are more positives to come, but I am that really stressed dreaded newbie chronic pain patient who is now 2 yrs post op and wondering if this is it.   I stay positive and think a magic silver bullet will come along and fix my post op pain  

    My third question is how has chronic pain changed who you are and what you believe about your life?   

    Im not fun Joel anymore   I’m not fun Dad any more   My pain and conditions prevent me from doing anything I loved before surgery.   It’s tough on the psyche to go through that when your intent was to have surgery in order to have a better quality of life in my 60s and 70s   Psychologist psychiatrist visits are helping keep me out of the pit.  My faith is all I really have at the end of the day, so focusing more on Him had made me stronger spiritually 

    Lastly do you really believe others such as your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, child or friend who DOES NOT live in chronic pain truly understand what living in chronic pain is really like? 

    A little.  But so far there have been no arguments with my wife or others caused by my pain as she has had three surgeries since my two so we are just keeping score and alternate taking care of each other. it sure is a topic in our church growth group- which one of us will get back to normal first, OR the more popular topic,  which one will be next to go back into the hospital. I suppose we could start our own betting line. 

    Thanks Dale for the thought provoking questions that I finally stumbled across and answered  :)

  • Very insightful answers Joel. 

    We all live our lives and then naturally age yet the aging process tends to sneak up on us.  One day we seem fine and the next its pain everyday.  We should not seem surprised yet we are. 

    I know for myself I have many regrets.  Not about family or friends, just making the wrong choices at the wrong time.  I deeply regret not traveling more.  I should have taken more vacations.  Now I don't want to go far from the house. 

    It is ingrained in us to work everyday.  Work almost becomes an obsession.  All the hours of overtime I worked were of no importance. 

    Now I live my life looking for a tiny window of time when I feel very little pain.  Every once in a while I have a good day when I can get out and do things.  How I miss the days of feeling great everyday. 

    I am so sick of going to endless drs appointments.  Taking meds day and night. 

    God bless you all

    dale

advertisement
Sign In or Join Us to comment.