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Scoliosis already ruined my life

I started my curve at 11 years old! I was not old enough bc the surgery doesn’t let you growth. I waited until I was 15. They couldn’t wait any longer bc the curve was getting worse and worse (62) so I got it done. I’ve always been a strong person and if the doctor told me it was gonna be okay then I believed him. I was not scared at all or anything, plus I had apendicitis when I was 9 so I knew I was not gonna remember anything about the process and I understood the post pain and everything it was going to be temporary so I was happy, like always. I was a happy and enthusiastic person. After the surgery, like I knew, it was super painful but I recovered, I had hope I was gonna look better, life was good and everything seemed to have a solution. I gave it time. About a week after o was able to walk again, pretty hard tho. About a month I was running. There was when I started to notice I was not the same person. I use to be a sporty person, super rough and tough girl, I enjoy it a lot. But that was over for me. I use to be able to curve my back and put my booty out on the mirror... it seems silly but deep down every girl wants to be sexy. It’s been 6 years now and “i am” a happy person until last year... it came out of nowhere. I Started gaining weight maybe bc I’m not a kid anymore... my height... I feel like I was born to be taller, I feel like a monster... I have huge boobs skinny legs and arms, my belly is not right... I feel like the skin on my torso is just so tight that makes me look fat bc it was supposed grownup with my column. Now I’m stuck. And here’s why I’m depressed, bc I know for sure that this problem has no solution and I’m always gonna look deformed bc my legs and arms are for a 21 year old girl, an adult person and my torso is a 15 adolescent... so yeah. My life is ruined. I feel ugly and I don’t understand why me... why couldn’t be a normal human being. I feel so miserable ☹️ bye 

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Comments

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,343

    Welcome skyreedn to the Veritas Health Forum!

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. But you life is totally ruined.  I understand, having developed scoliosis myself at age 65.  I am sure I am older than you are but I had a life too. And a cute body, thin, athletic, rode 4 wheelers and Harleys, worked in my flower gardens. When the scoliosis hit, it moved fast. I have lost 3 inches, leaning over to the right, the left back muscle looks like a football under my shirt. And, I only weigh 86 lbs.

    I don't ask why me, why not me? I would rather have this than another child. To help me deal with all of the changes, losing the things I can't do anymore, and the pain, I started seeing a psychologist. He does not dwell on the past but how to help me move forward. You have come to a great forum for support and understanding. We just hope to hear from you again.

    While you’re waiting for a reply to your first post, please take a few moments to review the Code of Conduct and FAQ section, located under Forum Tools. There you will find important information about posting in the forum and helpful tips for new members.

    Have you seen the Scoliosis Health Center on Spine-health? It features a list of doctor-authored articles about different types of scoliosis and scoliosis treatment options. It has a lot of really helpful information about scoliosis.

    Again, welcome to the Veritas Health Forum.
    Sandra
    Veritas Health Forum Moderator

  • @skyreedn

    This just means if you get married someday your husband will be that much more understanding of a person. He’ll like you for you.

    Remember that beauty (and sexiness, to use your word) is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve never once met a girl who says she’s ugly who is ugly.

    One girl I like has a lot of quirks and is always apologizing for them. I told her to stop apologizing for her quirks because they are exactly what makes her unique and funny.

    If you lose any friends over a medical condition — something you can’t control — then they never were your true friends but rather only convenient friends.

    Oftentimes when it comes to physical looks we are our own worst enemy. I know a woman who exercises for an hour a day twice a day and she complains that she’s fat. No amount of complimenting her has changed her mind. 

    Something psychological is going on when someone exercises that much and can’t see that they look good. Is she crazy for exercising that much? I think so. Sometimes men like “crazy” but not too much “crazy.” Lol.

    There was no difference between my torso and my arms and legs when I was 15 compared to when I was 21 so I wouldn’t stress or worry about that. 

    Your life is just getting started. I see a psychologist like Sandra and urge you to do what you can to not be so bummed about your life.

    I wouldn’t rule out going to some of the best spine hospitals in the country for a second opinion. We can’t name names but there’s a very good one in Cleveland.

    Please take good care of yourself and keep us updated on how you’re doing.

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