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What Next?

griffggriff Posts: 487
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:23 AM in Depression and Coping
I had a follow-up appointment with my neurosurgeon on Thursday to check up on my latest revision surgery and talk to him about getting permission to get the SCS trial and possibly the permanent one done. Unfortunately my x-rays showed bad news. The first 2 levels of the fusion are doing great, almost completely fused, but the C7-T1 is not showing any sign of fusion at all. The screw had moved position and is barely in the bone anymore (he removed so much bone during the last surgery that there wasn't much there to screw it to). He's concerned that it may hit nerve roots or, God forbid, the spinal canal and cause my symptoms to worsen. He's also worried about the spinal instability that I had before that caused the kyphosis, stretching the spinal cord so extremely.

What does all this mean? Possibly no SCS for awhile. Possibly another surgery, this time posterior, to put a cage around this level and wire it permanently in place since it probably isn't going to fuse.

I had worked my courage up to endure another surgery for the SCS but I can't imagine having to do yet another revision in less than a year. I've just spiraled back to the extreme angry cycle that I've been trying so hard to get out of for so long. Everytime I have a setback it makes me so mad that I'm in this position to begin with because of careless people. I'm trying hard to find the positive in this but can't. It makes no sense- all the people at fault walked away without a scratch and here I sit, day after day, going through this hell. I just don't know how to get out of it anymore.

If I should go hit a punching bag....oh, wait, I can't...

Griff X(



  • I appreciate it Miki, my friend. I'm trying hard to cope but am losing the battle.

    I tried to talk to hubby about it all yesterday but he changed the subject. I guess he's had enough of it too.

    There's nothing I can do to change the outcome of this, I just need to find ways to handle it better. My emotions are at the limit.

    Push on, push on.

  • Griff,

    I am so sorry you got bad news about your latest revision surgery. It is certainly understandable that you are feeling angry and frustrated at the prospect of facing another revision. I wish you the best as you figure out how to push forward and what comes next. My thoughts are with you...
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  • hi griff - so sorry to hear your news - i can lend you my virtual punching bag if you like. Its not as satisfying as the real thing tho.

    take care

  • Thanks Kathleen and nicola. I really appreciate the support.

    I'm starting PT today. I was pretty baffled that he wanted me to go on with it but then I realized that he wanted to see if my tendons and muscles are holding my neck in place. It's a quick way to find out! If I have to do this surgery then bring it on. The waiting is the hardest part.

    The virtual punching bag sounds good...I'll take you up on that offer. Can you put the truck drivers face on it for me? LOL!


  • Griff, I'm so sorry about your news. I think we are doomed to have a bad neck forever, but I hope you don't need another surgery. Just when you think you are starting to get better, bam, something slaps you down again. Please keep us posted, and feel free to throw some of them virtual punchs out there. I'll hold the punching bag for you anytime! PM me if you need to.
    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
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  • Hang in there mama. your a good and strong girl and you will come through this with honor intact! you know..its ok to be mad at the unfairness, dont hold it in, dont give in to the pain...fight fight fight! i admire your resraint in the matter! reach down to the place youve built inside where you can find the calm in the storm. if not one! your gonna be fine, you know why? coz your a great person and good thing follow people like you! all the darkness is gonna go away! take care from the hurricains and the internal ones!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

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