Family and neighbors

mjcgmmjcg Posts: 78
edited 05/05/2020 - 4:26 PM in COVID-19 Forum

So, I'm 65 years old and relatively healthy.  I take this pandemic very seriously and I've done all I can to stay home.  I wash my hands correctly, practice social distancing, and wear a face mask if I have to go out.  Now that communities are beginning to open up again, I've got family and neighbors who want to "hang out."   This is stressing me out because this very contagious virus is still out there and there's still no vaccine.  I don't want to come across as being unfriendly or uncaring when people want to get together ("We'll be fine, we're not sick, we'll wear masks" etc.).  I get it because how long do we continue to live like this anyway?  We certainly can't do this forever.  I'd feel less stress if I was in a younger age category.  What are your thoughts? 



  • mjcg, I totally get how you feel!  My Mom and Dad made the decision that they will continue the path they are on which is going absolutely nowhere they don't have to until there is a vaccine available.  They are 78 and 82 so they just cannot take the risk. 

    I am so afraid that people will start getting back out there as if the virus is gone, and we start getting slammed with new infections and all this work we did to "flatten the curve," will be undone.  I realize that it is a fine line for these officials to walk due to the fact that our economy is so up in the air.  They are afraid if they wait too long to open businesses back up, our economy will tank. 

    Although opening up non essential businesses right now seems ridiculous to me.  Nobody has to go bowling or to the beach or to a movie, etc.  It isn't worth someone dying over that's for sure.  I don't know what the correct answer is.  I just hope that if we do start having a ton of infections, they will be able to shut it back down fast enough. 

    Guess all we can do is pray for wisdom.


  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,476


    I'm 71 and not very healthy and take this very serious. But, even if I was 20 and healthy, I would not let my guard down for one second. I would not do anything that would make me uncomfortable. I tell people now, sorry, but I do not want to get sick.

    I spoke to my doctor again yesterday via Zoom and he told me again, stay home. If Tim goes out, wear a mask and stay away from people. The second wave will hit in the next 1-2 weeks and it will be bad, if not worse than the first. But people are just not listening. I understand that people need to go back to work. But they are not taking precautions.

    My husband, Tim, had to go to the store yesterday. He said half of the people were not even wearing masks. You can't make people stay in or police them. But you would think they would at least would want to protect themselves and others.

    Stay safe and protect yourself. You can't worry about what others do or think.

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  • I agree with Sandra 100%.  When I went to the pharmacy last week more people had masks on then I saw two weeks before but still quite a few did not.  It's selfish in my opinion.  Even if you don't care about yourself, you should think about who you might take the virus home to! 

    If I had a business I would require people to protect themselves with masks because when you don't wear one you are putting the employees of that business at risk as well.  I just don't get what the heck people are thinking.


  • Thanks for weighing in.  I just have such a hard time understanding why so many people don't seem as frightened as I am about catching this virus.  I'm lucky that our Governor is standing strong and following the science and data as opposed to giving into the people who have the attitude of "people die all the time."  I'm going to stay close to home as much as possible.  Maybe I'll lose friends but I'd rather not catch this thing or give it to someone else.   

  • Jerome001Jerome001 Cocoa Beach, FloridaPosts: 326

    mjcg, personally, I think you are doing the right thing. Here in Florida, our wonderful politicians have opened up the beaches again so now all those with cabin fever will bring whatever bugs and germs they have to share with us. I just don't get it - I know the economy is really hurting but if we open things up and we have a lot of very sick people and/or dead people, how is that going to help the economy. It seems like a significant but minority of our population wants to continue to do the right thing and be careful while so many have no concern for the consequences. IMO, it will be those responsible folks that enjoy having to deal with the virus. All we can do is look after ourselves the best we can. Take care of yourselves and be safe. Semper fi! Jerome

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  • My wife and I are in our mid-60's and we're taking this virus thing serious. We pretty much stay around the house but we're kinda rural, surrounded by cropland and woods, so we're not physically stuck inside the house all the time like someone in an apartment. It's much easier to stay home when you have a yard to roam in and are far enough away from the neighbors that you have to yell to say 'hi'.  My wife does the shopping by herself (my only grocery duty these days is to unload the car when she gets home) but  she says less than half the people she sees are wearing a mask.

    Our understanding is we don't wear a mask to protect us, we wear it to protect others. My favorite argument FOR wearing a mask to avoid the virus is comparing it to wearing pants to avoid getting pee on you: if nobody is wearing pants and someone pees on you, you will get wet. If you're wearing pants, you'll still get pee on you but not as much, so you're better protected. But if the other guy is wearing pants the pee will stay on him and you won't get any on you at all.

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,476


    I love your sense of humor, it puts things in perspective sometimes!! We live like ya'll do, on almost 300 acres of woods, surrounded by farmlands, crops and more woods and no neighbors close by. We are used to staying home too. My husband had to go to the store, wore his masks, got in and out as quick as he could. He said very few people had them on. That is why the second wave will be so bad.

    Stay safe and healthy

  • This has become both frightening and frustrating. We live in a rural area but alot of California is still shut down because it’s still bad in the cities and suburbs. We get groceries delivered and do drive through at pharmacy. I am 59 and on 4 blood pressure meds which increases my risk. My grandchildren’s preschools are opening but beaches are closed? Fortunately my daughters can work from home and they will not send the kids back yet. Facts change every day and I just can’t imagine how this will all play out over the next few months. 

  • All of this is so confusing, I live in North Carolina about 5 miles outside of our little city so I can walk around and not worry about being around anybody but the wife and dog, what's so confusing to me is the governor still has the stay at home order in place but opened most retail stores Friday, hair salons and barber shops are still closed, I went out Saturday and people were waiting in line to get in stores, a lot of them were not wearing mask or staying apart from one another. I just don't understand how they expect people to stay home when you open all the stores, just doesn't make sense.


  • Thanks memerainbolt. My wife and I agree with you about the second wave.

  • challenger, I'm over in Knoxville, and we opened a lot of stuff up on May1.  The Governor allowed Knoxville, Chattanooga and a few other larger cities to decide their own timeline while the rest of the state followed his guidelines opening last Wednesday.  Bars, entertainment venues, pool halls, concerts etc still not open until June 1, I believe with no more than 50 people...100 people allowed after July 1...……...this all assuming things don't backfire and we're back at square 1

    I got a haircut on May 3 and are only allowing only 2 people in at a time in the shop through online reservations...had to wear a mask while getting a trim.  Two Saturdays ago we went out to eat at the Mexican restaurant (at 50% capacity max with 6 ft apart)...had to wear a mask unless actually eating...we were there around 4 pm but were the only ones there except for another couple...felt like I was Victor Newman on Y&R renting out the restaurant to eat

    ...a lot of restaurants still not open yet, though

    ...many in TN don't like the government running their business, so mask wearing is hit and miss depending on where you are...much more than a month ago, though...

  • scinmyheart: It sounds like the plan Ohio is going to use. Wearing a mask is hit an miss up here, too. The few times I've been in a business I've heard people of all ages say they're not going to wear a stupid mask. Each time I've heard something along that line the person talking has been standing in the line at the register and they have loudly volunteered their opinion. Makes me wonder if they're trying to convince me or themselves that a mask isn't necessary. People are going to do what they're going to do but I don't feel the need to explain to anyone why I AM wearing a mask. This is uncharted territory for me but for now I think it's better safe than sorry.

  • All restaurants are still closed except take out here, bars, hair salons/barber shops and most service type businesses are still closed, the governor said this phase will last 2-3 weeks and he would go to phase 2, but the cases in our county are still going up, there is a chicken processing plant in the next county that has had an outbreak, most of the workers are hispanic and live in my county, they are generally low income and live several to a household which is causing a big problem, they are really good people, but their living conditions are a big problem when it comes to this virus.


  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,476

    Things are opening up here, bars, restaurants, hair salons, etc. but limiting the amount of people that can go in. But state parks are still closed until the 24th. Like Mudflap said, people are going to do what they want to do. And we can't worry about them. We just have to do what we feel like is best for us.

    Stay safe and take care

  • mjcgmmjcg Posts: 78
    edited 05/12/2020 - 2:01 PM

    Michigan is on Stay Home orders until May 28th; though some services have been lifted (construction, real estate, lawn care, green houses...).  Guidelines include social distancing and face masks when inside a business - but there are plenty of people defying the guidelines claiming their rights are being violated.  It's like I should just go ahead and run a stop sign or ignore traffic lights because it's an inconvenience interfering with my right to drive the way I want.  Why should I care if I cause an accident, right?  Sigh.  

    Because I'm 65, I'm going to continue staying close to home, washing my hands, and wearing a face mask when I need to go out.  It's just going to be difficult to tell family/friends that until there is a vaccine, I'm plan to be a hermit.  

    Thank you all for your input.  Fingers crossed there will be a vaccine developed sooner rather than later.  

  • I'm scheduled for ACDF surgery on June 19th. Apparently the hospital just opened up for some elective surgeries. I'm kind of borderline elective, so my neurosurgeon bumped me ahead of some of his less urgent patients. My concern (or one of them, lol), is that the second wave will hit before my date and I'll get postponed. I'm in Alameda County, CA, and we've done pretty well with stay at home. The hospitals have had COVID cases and deaths, but they were never really overwhelmed. I'm hoping we can keep it down to a dull roar again this next phase. 

    I've had neck (and back) issues for over 20 years. I finally had lumbar decompression done in 2008, and it fixed my sciatica, but my back still bugs me at times. I'm fine with it. My neck has bothered me since the 80's, but during the last 3-4 years my left arm has had pain and numbness down to my fingers. I had two epidurals, and they helped. Now I'm losing muscle at a rapid rate and I can't lift my arm to shoulder height. There's no pain and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

    I've been researching ACDF surgery  and I'm confident in my surgeon, so I hope it gets done on the 19th. I've had my share of major surgeries. Lumbar decompression 2008; Triple bypass 2009; Right lung upper lobectomy for lung cancer (I'm cancer free) 2016. I'm not too concerned about the ACDF... I think I'm more afraid of COVID-19.....

  • Mheine - June 19th is coming up quick.  Let us know how your surgery goes, ok?  Sending positive healing thoughts your way!

  • mjcg ,

    I do my pre-op testing tomorrow. Now I can relax a little. Appointment with the surgeon on the 10th. COVID test on the 17th, and I;m good to go. Thanks for the positive energy too..

  • Cooling Centers open but none near me and don’t drive taking meds. Why not restaurant inside open to cool yourself with a mask on and use hand sanitizer at the door or no entry. I don’t know. Not fair for people without a car can’t just drive through or rest self with back pain

    No place to sit in malls. They took out all the chairs. So hard for older people and handicap with a cane. 

  • I can't believe I wrote this original post two long months ago!  And are things better?  No!  The U.S. is in an even bigger mess dealing with COVID-19!  Friends still don't seem to get the point of wearing a mask and/or staying 6 feet away.  This morning one of my neighbors wanted to chat, which is fine except that she kept getting closer and closer to my face!  I kept backing up and away.  I need my six feet (I'd take 10 feet if I could get that lol).  I don't want to be that paranoid person - but I also don't want to get this virus!  No end in sight to this pandemic nightmare either.  It's all so depressing...

  • Just put your hand up like a stop sign and say oh we’re having such a nice chat we’re forgetting to distance 6 feet or 2meters. Then laugh and hope she gets it. It’s so easy to forget the new normal for now. 

    Take care. Charry

  • And California is back on lockdown, or modified lockdown, back to phase whatever phase we really shouldn’t have left because our numbers were never really “down” when we started opening back up. Trying to keep up with everything is really confusing.  I love the stop sign analogy. Speeding is a good one too.  I’ll probably pass on using the urine example, sorry mudflap ( maybe we should all just stop wearing pants and see how that goes )

    Mcjg it is depressing. When the enormity of the virus hit me in late Feb/early Mar it was overwhelming and I nearly lost it and had to increase the anti anxiety meds.  I feel so bad telling our church group we just aren’t comfortable going out and being in groups because of my wife and my underlying health issues.  I felt terrible not being able to take my kids to see my Dad on his birthdaY, but I’d feel worse if somehow he was infected by a small get together.  I feel terrible having to zoom my kids and not see them.  When I go out I am so stressed by people not wearing masks or physically distancing especially in a place like Costco.  And it’s just going to get more contentious with a second lockdown.  And then to be one of the unemployed who now can’t go out to get a gig and ... ugh it’s just so So depressing. 

    Now it just feels like the first two months of lockdown were for nothing and we are back to square one except 130K Americans are gone, and 3.5M infected.  

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