Long term pain and depression!



  • Oh bummer! I'm perplexed by this virus...I don't know anyone who's had it, and they don't know anyone who has it either. These are even people in the health care business! It was not a big deal and now they say it's ''coming back!'' I'm a skeptic, but I'm glad you're being cautious with your health. I don't go out in crowds, and have only worn a mask 3 times for shopping. We'll see, but it has taken such a toll on our Country! Can't take much more!

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 4,564

    I do not leave our cabin the woods except to go have my pump filled every 3 mos. My husband only goes to the store when he has to, he usually keeps us stocked up so he doesn't have to. Then he wears a mask and is so cautious. Only certain friends come over and we always sit outside on the deck. Since Feb., in this county, we have only had 55 cases. This is rural farming country and everyone here took it serious by wearing masks.

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  • Cabin in the woods sounds great! I live in a rural area in between Portland and Seattle oh BOY! No problems out west lol! But yes living in low population rural area is the only place to be! In my county of about 100,000 there's only been a handful of cases and I think 2 or 3 deaths. But I hope you know about the thousands of falsified death certs stating covid as the cause of death, when in fact they WERE NOT! Why this deception? Because the hospitals get federal money for the reported cases so the ''pad'' the certs and collect the money! Our government is not telling us the truth about these matters, and it's very disheartening...

  • Hi Thom. I've been a member of this forum for a long time, but don't post much anymore. But I saw your post and felt compelled to comment. I've had CP for 11 years. I've had a 3-lvl cervical fusion, and two lumbar fusions at L3-4 and L4-5. Now my L1-2 and L2-3 have collapsed and I need surgery for that, a fusion at those two levels and anchored up two more levels into the thoracic, so four levels total. My surgeon says I can have the surgery any time I'm ready or when I become unstable, whichever comes first. With spondylolisthesis, I'm pretty sure it'll come down to stability. So, I've been married for just over 30 years and my husband and I had it out after my last surgery about 6 years ago regarding sympathy and my pain. So I changed, not him. I stopped talking about my pain altogether. I started doing things that I'm sure are bad for my spine, but I'm not going to make him do something I can do even if it hurts. Now, he can see when I'm hurting and will say something like "you're hurting today, aren't you?" Or he'll ask me what's wrong in the morning if I'm not my usual jovial self and I'll tell him that my back is hurting pretty bad today. I act like there's no problem and just deal with it within myself. I take anti-depressants and pain medication. So I think most of us know how you feel with regards to sympathy from your spouse, but the pain situation is a personal one to me. If he asks, fine. If he doesn't, fine. I just go along as best I can and if I feel I can't do something like move a table or something, I'm honest and tell him I can't and would he do it for me. He never hesitates to help if I ask and to me now, that's sympathy enough.

    Take care, Thom. Happy Independence Day.


  • Hi Cathy, my first thought do you guys all get surgery? I've been asking for some kind of surgical rescue for at least 10 of my 17 yrs of CP! Oh well, I like what you say, and my wife does do that, ie she knows I have limitations and I'll get out and do stuff that hurts me and she'll say to be careful or take a break or whatever. What she doesn't ask is what your husband asks, ''are you hurting today, are you doing ok?'' It's as if she doesn't care enough to even ask! Someone had told me earlier ''why expect her to ask something she's not comfortable asking?'' That has stuck with me. How could that be possible with one's wife? IDK but I guess it is with mine! So, if I expect less from her it won't hurt. Hmmm, not sure if I like that equation but I guess I'm stuck with it. Another thing to add to my depression, honestly.... Happy 4th!

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  • Jerome001Jerome001 Cocoa Beach, FloridaPosts: 327

    I really appreciate hearing that I am not the only one that is emotionally alone! I really appreciate everyone sharing as it is a topic one does not normally discuss with others. Thanks again! Jerome

  • Hi Jerome, I had no idea either! That's why I brought it up I guess. It's a bigger component of my life even more than the physical pains I suffer from. My mom was an R.N. and had a LOT of compassion for people, including me and my sibs growing up. I think I chose a wife who is polar opposite of her! Now I realize, almost 41 years later, that I should have been more selective. The emotional pain is definitely worse than the physical pain, that's my conclusion!

  • It is a topic that gets us all at one stage or another. My gp says my chronic pain is my issue with depression and my osteopath says I am still grieving my grandson. Probably a bit of both, my daughter came today and showed me the 4d image of the bub she is expecting. She has scans every two weeks to check bubs heart. My heart melted for the bub she will be having in 13 weeks. Bless her, she strapped my feet which have helped me walk today. But when she goes home all I see is our dear little William gone in my arms as I got him out the car.  At first I thought he was asleep.... the pain in her eyes is now frozen in time. Yes the emotional pain is cruel. My husband gets cranky if I cry for the loss of our bubba, he said he is over the crying. 

  • Harpy, I am so sorry you lost your grandson. Grief has no set time, and as a mother you feel your daughter’s pain as well. I have daughters and grandchildren. When my girls suffer, I suffer too. We are moms forever,even when we are grandparents. Grief and depression make our daily struggle with pain almost impossible. Even on the worst pain days, if I have peace in my heart it’s never that bad. Take care, Harpy, you are not alone. I still cry a bit for my mom who died suddenly a year ago. Congratulations on new baby coming in 13weeks! Nancyann 

  • Thank you nancyann, I think when I see this new psychologist it may help. I still cry most days for Wilby, I talk to his photo all the time . I am too scared to have his 4 year old brother sleep over incase he stops breathing . This forum is great, be it for our pain or sadness. Gentle hugs . Harpy 

  • Hi, bad Neck pain!
    I am also new to this forum and hoping to be a helpful and compassionate member of this family.  I have also hurt some of the wrist ligaments while working out and it has now become a chronic pain that frustrates me a lot.
    Depression has become so widespread and prevalent in recent years that I am sure everyone knows what you are talking about. I have also suffered from depression and anxiety for many years and now I am grateful for improved mental and physical health. It took me a lot of time, to understand it, accept it, and finally embrace the recovery process. But, one thing was consistent and helped me tremendously to recover and that was emotional and physical support from family and loved ones. I hope your wife understands this and she stays true to the promise made at the time of the wedding "to be together in sickness and health". I can understand that it becomes difficult to cope with someone going through a trying time, but giving up is never the solution. She might not be able to understand what keeps you up and how depression is making your life tough, but she should offer her shoulder for you to rest and lean on. I hope you have figured out what causes you to become depressed. Some several underlying reasons and illnesses lead to the onset of depression. For example, ADHD and genetics also play a role. If you don't have much knowledge about the symptoms and myths revolving around ADHD, then I suggest reading this  Awareness and acceptance is the key to initiating the recovery process.

    I hope you feel better soon! Take care!

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