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Does anyone really know how we feel???? How do you get through the day?

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,008
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:28 AM in Neck Pain: Cervical
Like each of you, I am not very unique. When I first awake in the morning, I think, "Oh, My God, I do not have any pain today!" Then I stand up and that old familiar pain jabs at my neck and then I realize that I indeed am not healed at all! I think how wonderful it would be to have a day free of pain and the worry about the future.

2 years ago I fell from a ladder and my troubles began. The conservative approach for months did not help and eventually ended up having an ACDF with fusion for c4/c5. Afterwards, I had a year and a half of a normal life again. Pain free and loving each moment that I was alive.

Then in December of last year, I was rear-ended at a stop sign. The woman was only driving a few miles per hour and just bumped my car. Two days later, that old familiar pain started to return with a ferociousness worse than the last.

So, it was back to the NS, physical therapy and all the other conservative pleasures of life and still, the pain does not ease.

I have just started all the MRI, myelograms EMG again. The process is so very slow and seems to last forever. I still do not know what exactly my issues are yet until all the tests come back and I meet with the NS at the end of the month....

But, nobody but the rest of us know how it feels to be constantly in pain. I am not fun to be around anymore. I am suffering at work because I have to take pain pills to get through the day.

I can't wash my own floor, lift my own laundry and make love to my spouse but nobody understands....

I guess I am a bit down and depressed. How do you all get through the day???? How do you all go to work everyday? How do you all have a normal life?


  • I understand how you feel and everyday it's the same thing - wake up in pain, take meds, and stay in your comfortable space surrounded by everything necessary within your reach. I have nothing but admiration for those who are still going to work and I know it's not easy. I am fortunate to stay at home but the days drag on and it's all the same. I'm sorry to hear about this accident aggravating your problem; we were hit by someone running the intersection and boy was I angry because my back was already hurt and this just added to my misery. Are you seeing a pain specialist or orthopedic/neurosurgeon? I know how frustrating it is not to be able to do the things you used to. I gave up vacuuming and other hard chores including gardening which was my favorite hobby.
  • I can hear the pain, frustration and sorrow in your post and I definitley feel for you. Perhaps the shock of being reinjured after getting your live back to 'pain free' will wear off in time...but i do understand for now - You're really just pissed. But when you are ready maybe some of the things that have helped me may help you:

    I hope this doesn't come off preachy, but it is truely what I do DO!

    The old saying about being grateful (i have been told, if i am not grateful for what i have, I am not getting anymore). It can be hell to work with pain, but I am grateful that i can work and that i have a job. some people are past that point and can't...i still can, and i will as long as i can. yes, i do take pain meds to help accomplish this, but just to take the real hurt off, but make sure i can concentrate.

    A sense of humor about it all. Don't think I cannot wash the floor - when i saw that i thought - YYYAAAEEE i get out of washing the floor! Sex thing I can't help with...but i have been married for a while, and experience has shown me that we all have ebbs and flows - it is just your turn! I have given my pain a name - Harold, it seems to lighten the whole experience for me.

    Staying positive and that this is a journey of some sort. One time, locked my keys in the truck for a very impt doc appt that didn't go well and when i returned, not only did i leave the keys in the truck locked, i left it running. At the very moment I was a mess - crying, almost hysterical and all this very public. But after i did get in with some help from some very nice people, and calmed down....there was avery bad accident that had jsut happened, maybe i was saved from i pay attention better, maybe I saved myself from doing this somewhere i would not have had all the help I did.

    Normal is relative, hell normal 7 years ago was two kids in diapers and not a moment to myself. I guess - I just show up and participate in all that i can. Over this time, i did feel the shadow of this chronic pain into who I am and i did not like the negativity, the rudeness and anger. I have made a concentrated effort to not focus on the negative and applaud the positives.

    Short story for you - Wife comes home at Christmas time and her husband had purchased their 1st tree and got it all decorated for her. They did not have alot of money and so it wasn't the best from the lot. She comes in and yells "you got a tree with a hole in it". The husband's face drops - and she would never get that moment back. She was too busy noticing the hole in the tree that she didn't see how great it all was - and how beautifully decorated it was.


    thanks for listening I hope it helps
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  • I have definately had days like yours. I am waiting for my surgery on March 26 however I have been dealing with this going on 6 years.

    I just try and focus on what I can control. I try to find things that I can do that I enjoy to look forward to. Sometimes I can knit a little and that keeps me busy. I have taken up wine tastings as it is something I can do with my husband and it is fun to learn something new. I do understand about missing your spouse and somedays I am willing but he is scared he'll hurt me. It is the worst of all of this.

    Bottom line is I am focused on getting better and take my little victories where I can. There is so much that I get so frustrated with. Like you, trips to the grocery, doing laundry, cleaning the house etc I can't do and when you walk around and for all intensive purposes look normal, most people don't understand.

    What I have learned to do though is focus on the positive. I know that there is an end in sight. I know that there are risks but I am more afraid of continuing on as I am now that I am of the surgery. Anything that I can find that is positive, I think about that. It is so hard to do but I have found that by making it a habit it becomes easier every day. It's so easy to get down in the dumps but it is so hard to get back up once you are there. I try to keep myself above it.

    Remember, you have been there before and found the relief and happiness you wanted. You are taking the steps to get back to where you were. You are fortunate to have a job in this day and age. You are doing what you need to do to get better. You have a community here that is so supportive and truly understands how you feel. Focus on the good.

  • I know exactly how you feel. I had my 2nd surgery in Nov of 2008 and am now just starting to make a little progress. I still have pain every day . I also get up with good days that I think the pain is gone but it always will appear after I get to work or do anything to aggravate it. I have to work because we can't make it on one salary. Thankfully I have an employer who is helpful. I am still in the anger stages of my condition. I feel if the Drs would have acted sooner , I may not be as disabled as I am. I now have myelopathy and i hear that it is not curable. I quit complaining a few months ago because I think people are tired of hearing about it. I know that I will eventually get through this with patience and time.
    Hang in there,be persistant with the Drs and demand that the basic standard of care be given to you and your condition. I know that one day we will wonder how we ever got through with this.
    Please take care, Beth
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 12,989
    Once you have dealt with chronic pain, then answer becomes somewhat easier. Very simple

    We have to
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences 
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  • Yep, PapaRon, you hit the nail on the head. There is no choice, is there?
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