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Where am I and how did I get here, things were so good before.

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  • Still waiting to get hooked up with this doctor in Sacramento. The group is suppose to be real good with backs and nerves. I'm really hoping they are.

    Been moving really slow if at all. Not sure but it seems that the meds. don't work as good as they once used to. Could be developing a tolerance to them. Not sure if switching type would make a difference.

    Have to say this last year has been real hard on me mentally and physically. Just too much pain to deal with every day. I was feeling hesitant about getting surgery but right now I want it done so badly. Take me now, don't worry about putting me out, give me a stick to chew on. Just fix the problem and fix it now. I can't even sit down without worrying. I have to slowly sit down so I don't drop this mass on the couch or chair. Have to worry about stepping to far and coming down hard. Can't stand upright without aid of a counter or back of a chair. Then when I get what I think is upright looking in the mirror I'm still not there.

    Last year in October I had surgery on my hand and ever since then I've been falling apart. I believe the doctor nicked a nerve and the top of my hand and little finger is a bit numb. It feels like I'm wearing a watch around my wrist but there's nothing there. It goes up my left wrist a little and hoping it's from the surgery and not nerve and my spine.

    On a good note, one of my female skunks had babies because there's two little ones coming around. I posted some pictures on Flikr and Picasa. Also have baby deer pictures nursing. Mom was smiling until she saw me taking pictures. Then it looked like she was a little troubled with me looking at her. The babies really like running and playing here with themselves or with the other babies. It doesn't replace the skunk I lost but it sure is nice to see the babies. I was putting cat food out last night and I didn't see one sneak in the house. Took about an hour to get it to come out from behind the computers. Sure are just the cutest little guys, then all babies seem to look extra cute, must be that little rounded head they all have.

    Last night was some good wildlife watching and didn't have to leave my chair at the desk. Had grandma raccoon and two of here daughters with there babies. That was six baby raccoons and one is a albino from a none albino mother. Watching them playing around was a real kick. They would be at the stairs looking down. Then take off and go to the side of the porch where they climbed up some where and ended up where they started at the stairs. They did that over and over. I looked out another time and there was one laying under the hand railing of the porch. Another baby came running up and laid down next to the other one and started poking the other one. They had their heads hanging off the end of the porch looking out over the yard, really cute too see. They all were walking down the walkway climbing over each other just having a great time. Three generations all together.

    The scoliosis seems to be getting worse and my body is really hard to hold up. On the left side it feels stable but hurts more trying to hold my body up. Call me "I-Lean" and then there's the part of how much I lost in height. I was standing next to a couple guys a couple weeks ago talking with them saying I used to be six feet tall before.

    I had a double hernia repair and can feel the patch they used on my right side when I move. I don't turn my body all that far, most of the time I'm facing everything I do. I had to sit while washing dishes tonight. At first I had the step stool pointing where I was turning to the right and that increased the pain in my hip. The hip pain is caused by a pinched nerve at L3. I turned the step stool around and it was a lot better. Even though the kitchen is small it's a big distance when moving a few inches causes you a lot of pain.

    I'm wondering about my knee because when I lay around most of the day the only thing that hurts is just my knee. When I first lay down though my hip and knee both hurt. I want to pull my leg up so me knee is up but then my hip hurts more. I've got a new heating pad which I've been putting on my knee and that really helps while I'm laying down. I've tried putting ice on my knee until it was frozen but all that does for me is have a big bunch of gel pack wrapped on my leg making me walk funny. When nothing seems to work you will do anything or try anything. Heard a story about this mediation that I've been reading about that's when I can sit here for sometime when I'm feeling half way good. I was trying to read a magazine today and was rolling around trying to get where it wasn't putting any pressure downward on my spine. Found that I can lay flat and hold the magazine up is the best thing I can do. Eyes are too good because I can see the squares on the flat screen. Better then having cataracts from side effects of cortisone shots in my back.

    Getting late so must go lay down some more. Really miss doing everything I once used to do and the list is getting shorter.

    Smiles
    Bob
  • Isn't it awful how one thing falls apart and then it seems like it snowballs? I had a car accident years ago -- needed to have the cartilage replaced in the left side of my jaw, then I had another wreck (people run into me) and I needed rotator cuff surgery. Then I hurt my back - had a micro d, then a fusion. Then I needed another rotator cuff surgery on the other side. I keep thinking -- what's next? Am I Roseanne Roseannadanna? It's always something! If it's not one thing, it's another! Bette Davis said "Old Age Ain't Fer Sisssies" -- she so was so right. I think we spineys fall apart more easily than most folks. You hang on, enjoy your wildlife and get someone to help you out.

    Linda
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
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  • i've road a bike for so many years and fell over a couple times standing still. no crashes, reacted faster then they did. really gets the heart going. i know i turned over the speedometer on a few bikes.

    my car has been sitting for so long it's rusting in place. drove it to pick up the mail and it was making this grinding sound from all the brakes. took it into town and back and it stopped.

    thought i gained two baby skunks but i saw three tonight and a possum along with the raccoons. everyone was eating, crunching away. i got cat food at the feed store. another 40 pound bag. good the bags are made real strong so i can drag them in the house.

    i had some energy and knocked some apples down from the trees for the deer. two young sister came up to the salt block. i was standing on the porch watching all the deer walk around. i told the two sisters there's apples over there. they turn their heads and look back. then back to the salt. i told them again, there's apples back by smiley. they turned their heads again and walk about 20 feet and looked at me. i said, no, farther back by smiley. they took a few steps back and looked around then came back to the salt block. it's amazing that i got the idea to them but they just didn't want go back to where smiley was since the velvet is off his antlers. they are real pointy now. they are smart and do understand me. when they say no, they shake their heads where their ears flop and make noise. sort of cool being with them since they were babies every day. they do learn things from me. a smile goes a long way with the wildlife plus it's good to have apples.

    oh great, i forgot to eat dinner. i've been playing with the computer and lost time. now it's going on midnight and i took the roast out of the oven. i turned off the oven hours ago to let it cool down. i wanted to finish a letter or something. just another minute right? that was five hours ago.

    it has to be this cool program world wide telescope that took up all my time. it's real nice and they use that same technology as the photosynth program.
    https://www.worldwidetelescope.org/home.aspx
    be amazed and check it out.

    smiles
    bob
  • Hi Bob,
    I have read all your post and must say they have been touching as well as others. I can not say I know what you are going through but I do know you’re not alone. It’s not always just the physical pain but the emotional stress that comes with it. I am a 31 year old woman married with 3 girls 15, 13, and 10 months. I am a very strong minded person with lots of pride (maybe to much) I have always believed that I can do whatever I put my mind to. My marriage is 50/50 we both work, clean, take care of the kids and it has always been that way until now. I can remember when this all started like it was yesterday taking my 4 mile walks and my ankles started to hurt in a weird way it felt as with each step they were going to just snap in half. But because I could not explain the pain I blamed it on my shoes then it was I needed to stretch. It was the end of fall and I am always cold so I said maybe it’s the arthritis in my back. I told myself that I could make to spring and things would be better. Spring came but then I got pregnant the pain was in my thighs and my ankles now but I was pregnant so I blamed it on that mentioned once to the doctor and he said it was because I was pregnant it was problie my sciatic nerve. So I roughed it out I have a high tolerance for pain as I suffer from other disorders that living in pain was just part of life. However with my other pain my management was to stay busy keep my mind and body moving so I was not thinking about the pain it worked for those disorders. I had my daughter and the pain in my legs was still there so it was October so I blamed it on arthritis I’ll make it to spring. Spring came and the pain was much worse couldn’t walk the pain was so bad, so I finally I went to see the Doctor and she told it was my sciatic nerve and there was nothing they could do to rest and it will pass. Well that pushed me harder to make myself walk no pain no gain I said. My life was changing the pain was getting worse and the days were tiring as if I was playing tug-a-war with myself and losing. Then the day came I was sitting at work and I couldn’t feel my feet they went numb well as usual I thought I just needed some water. But they stayed that way then my ankles and then my hands and wrist. All I think about was wow all four limbs this can not be happening. This went on for days – I blamed my hands on Carpel Tunnel and didn’t know what was wrong with my feet but just thought it would pass. It didn’t as the days passed the pain got worse and it was something new daily. I finally went back to the doctor’s they sent me for an MRI. My physician told me there was a large amount of fluid in my lumber area causing pressure on my root nerve and for me to see an orthopedic maybe they could just take a needle and remove the fluid. Sounded good but not so simple I went and seen the orthopedic who did x-ray’s and said that my back was fractured. That I would need surgery to correct the problem he was going to fuse L5-S1 and remove the black Disc and stabilize it with a plate and screws. Hmmm that was not what I wanted to hear I ask him what my options were and it was surgery or deal with the pain that will get worse to the point were I would be unable to walk or control my bladder. From my understanding the disc has moved so far forward and to the right that it can not be corrected on its own. I went back to my physician who then told me to see a neurosurgeon as my problem is not just L5-S1 but L3-Si and she does not believe my arms have to do with my Lumber. Here I sit today not being able to feel my ankles or feet and pain in both calves that is unexplainable both my forearms and hands have the same pain as my legs. I now have pain running down my back from between my shoulder blades to my waist. My feet have drop so when I walk they just drag, I feel as if I am wearing a Ben-gay Patch above my butt and also checking to see if there is something there but there nothing. I get this feeling like my legs are wet but they are dry. Yes the pain is there but the other symptoms are making me feel crazy. Mental I have lost it no more washing dishes, no more playing with my girls I still go to work but it’s hard and I work in a warehouse but it’s the only thing that keeps my mind from going crazy. I have an appointment tomorrow with the neurosurgeon to see what he has to say. Oh and now I am losing control of my bladder. So we may not have the same pain but I do understand the mental toll it can put on one. To think I didn’t want to have the surgery because I couldn’t image being down to recover my house would fall to pieces but here I sit not being able to do anything and what I can do now takes hours. My family is very helpful but when you have been able to do everything your whole life and then it’s gone that to me is pain it’s hard to adjust you just want to do the things that you have always been able to. I hope your procedures goes well and I wish you the best and just remember your never alone. 
  • I was just looking at a clip today about the bass player of Spinal Tap. He also does the voices on Simpson's. That's something I've been watching since it first came on 20 years ago. I think I need to get a copy of Spinal Tap and maybe Ruttles.

    Going to ask for stronger meds next week. Right now I'm taking enough just to make it to the couch and lay down all day. It's really getting old. If I take my meds a little closer together then I can actually do something for a short period. Driving in a car is very painful. Been a bit better after laying down for a week.

    Smiles
    Bob
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  • I was watching with my binoculars last night and saw what looks like a galaxy turned on it's side? and Venus or Mars? It's shining so bright and I saw a falling star! It's great to see the stars on a clear night. Hard to believe no one can believe in God when there's such beauty and wonderment. I happened to download the same program and will check my position with the rest of the planets from the position displayed on Google earth of my house. I swear the moon light shines right on the porch and backyard is so eerily cool and never seen such living downtown in the city.

    My ex-boyfriend got me hooked on looking at the stars as he had a telescope set up at the cottage and I was able to see the moons of Saturn! I miss all we had in common as my husband doesn't seem too interested in that stuff.LOL

    Well all the squirrels are out in front of my house and one just scared me trying to break a walnut from our walnut tree on the house against the window.
    Anyway, nature for us can surely be distracting from the pain and helps distract us and enjoy the creation and I know we're all here for a purpose and I know it all doesn't end here and there's paradise beyond the infinity of stars.
    All of us in different corners of the world have much in common and can enjoy something out there. Well it's Sunday so that's my little sermon lol. Keep the stories coming. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • That's some website Bob! As if I didn't already spend too much time on the computer. @) The guided tours are awesome and don't make you feel too dumb. I took a couple classes in astronomy -- absolutely fascinating. Of course, with a last name like mine (even though it's spelled wrong) I've gotta like this stuff! :)))
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • It has turned ridiculously cold at nights, raining today and it sucks! I could barely hobble into work today and hating every minute!
  • Was 105 and 107 degrees last week and now it's 60 degrees at noon. Drinking coffee to warm up. Yesterday I was working at the computer and went to make a cup and forgot to stick the pot under the thing. 16 ounces of coffee all over the counter. I made it into the kitchen as it was starting to drip on the floor.

    I usually do all the things I need to do in the summer and this year I've been on hold. Want to sand water proof the wood decks. Didn't work on the workshop in the cellar. Didn't do much on the garden. Deer just ate all my little trees. How they jumped in got me. Have to fence the top.

    The turkey are lounging in the sun and just saw a squirrel in the tree with a walnut. As I walked to the kitchen to get this cup, I can see the turkeys on the fence looking upward faces in full color. Why are they doing that, must be females around. Coming back and sitting down I saw the females. I'm amazed at there eye sight how good it is for such small eyes.

    When I checked the garden something I haven't done in months to see if I could see where the deer jumped in, there were dozens of quail that flew out of this one bush and by some more small cherry trees. I heard something as I walked by but didn't pay attention to it. I was enjoying being in the warm sun. Weeds are going into my garden. Onions and garlic should be ready to be pulled out. Don't know they have a lot of weeds growing over them.

    Telescopes covered and haven't been used at all this year. Have to be able to stand still to look through the eye piece. I've been wanting to adapt my video camera to it and scan over the moon surface. Put it on the list of things to do. Have a big list right now. I just don't know how or when I'm going to get to all these things.

    I usually go down the creek and clean it out. Cut up the branches and mow the grass. Last winters branches that were knocked down are still there. Many of them are tree sized branches if not trees. The snow storm was something else and I was stuck here for 6 days without power and two weeks without a phone. I went to the neighbors house and called the power company and phone company. A tree top about 30 feet long broke off and fell on the lines. Took out a transformer but pulling off the insulators. Lost a TV and phone during that along with a hard drive in the computer. I was backing up files and photos and lots two years worth of photos about 20,000 photos. I did make about 20 DVDs with my photos so I got a lot of them.

    Now I worry if we have weather like that how will that effect me while recovering. I need to find out more about major back reconstruction where I'll be down for a year. The first and second operations I had I was down in bed for three month before starting to walk again. Took me a while before I could walk where it looked normal. Still had pains and pain pills. This time it's going to be a real big surgery getting opened up on the front and back. If I need to get out of here because of a fire would I be able to walk? Without me telling the power company about the down lines they wouldn't have been here as fast as they were. Then I had to walk to the gate to open it up for them. Was thinking as I was walking back that I could stop to rest and freeze up. They would find me until things melted.

    I walked to the plum trees yesterday and back and that was way to much for me. I just don't know how I'll do with the harsh winter and harsh place this is. Nothing is flat here. That's why the post office stopped delivering mail here and I had to move the mail box. Well been sitting to long and need to rest.

    Smiles
    Bob
  • Was 105 and 107 degrees last week and now it's 60 degrees at noon. Drinking coffee to warm up. Yesterday I was working at the computer and went to make a cup and forgot to stick the pot under the thing. 16 ounces of coffee all over the counter. I made it into the kitchen as it was starting to drip on the floor.

    I usually do all the things I need to do in the summer and this year I've been on hold. Want to sand water proof the wood decks. Didn't work on the workshop in the cellar. Didn't do much on the garden. Deer just ate all my little trees. How they jumped in got me. Have to fence the top.

    The turkey are lounging in the sun and just saw a squirrel in the tree with a walnut. As I walked to the kitchen to get this cup, I can see the turkeys on the fence looking upward faces in full color. Why are they doing that, must be females around. Coming back and sitting down I saw the females. I'm amazed at there eye sight how good it is for such small eyes.

    When I checked the garden something I haven't done in months to see if I could see where the deer jumped in, there were dozens of quail that flew out of this one bush and by some more small cherry trees. I heard something as I walked by but didn't pay attention to it. I was enjoying being in the warm sun. Weeds are going into my garden. Onions and garlic should be ready to be pulled out. Don't know they have a lot of weeds growing over them.

    Telescopes covered and haven't been used at all this year. Have to be able to stand still to look through the eye piece. I've been wanting to adapt my video camera to it and scan over the moon surface. Put it on the list of things to do. Have a big list right now. I just don't know how or when I'm going to get to all these things.

    I usually go down the creek and clean it out. Cut up the branches and mow the grass. Last winters branches that were knocked down are still there. Many of them are tree sized branches if not trees. The snow storm was something else and I was stuck here for 6 days without power and two weeks without a phone. I went to the neighbors house and called the power company and phone company. A tree top about 30 feet long broke off and fell on the lines. Took out a transformer but pulling off the insulators. Lost a TV and phone during that along with a hard drive in the computer. I was backing up files and photos and lots two years worth of photos about 20,000 photos. I did make about 20 DVDs with my photos so I got a lot of them.

    Now I worry if we have weather like that how will that effect me while recovering. I need to find out more about major back reconstruction where I'll be down for a year. The first and second operations I had I was down in bed for three month before starting to walk again. Took me a while before I could walk where it looked normal. Still had pains and pain pills. This time it's going to be a real big surgery getting opened up on the front and back. If I need to get out of here because of a fire would I be able to walk? Without me telling the power company about the down lines they wouldn't have been here as fast as they were. Then I had to walk to the gate to open it up for them. Was thinking as I was walking back that I could stop to rest and freeze up. They would find me until things melted.

    I walked to the plum trees yesterday and back and that was way to much for me. I just don't know how I'll do with the harsh winter and harsh place this is. Nothing is flat here. That's why the post office stopped delivering mail here and I had to move the mail box. Well been sitting to long and need to rest.

    Smiles
    Bob
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