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Real Pain and Real Psych or Brain/Body Links



  • I have a real problem with this post,the other thread was closed and it was on the same subject,my pain is real i am not a surgical canidate,i had 22 suguries on my ears before the age of 12,my pain is not in my mind,where is the compassion on this forum gone to,this is the section for chronic pain,and these type of posts that are judge peolple shouldnt be allowed....i am offend by Michaels post and this one.
  • Thank you for sharing your history and taking the time to write this post.

    I've only been a member of Spine-Health for three months, so I haven't had the opportunity to hear your story. I must admit that I do have memory problems from taking Percocet, but I guarantee I will remember the majority of your history.

    Real pain most definitely has real psychological links to it. If a person suppresses or denies this fact, I believe it will eventually present itself in another physical and/or mental disorder.

    I can relate to the one coping mechanism you mentioned, regarding the temporary handicap parking tag. This coping mechanism doesn't sound crazy to me at all. One of my coping mechanisms has been to NOT read my full surgery report. (I know this is going to sound more crazy to others than your parking tag, but it's my choice for the time being). I can feel my pain and I can feel my progress. I can tell when something is not right and I know when to seek out professional help. I do not feel there would be any kind of benefit for me to review the sordid details from my initial hospital stay and surgery. I know the basic information and that's all I care to know at this point in time. I have all of my Xray films and have looked at those, which I do find interesting.

    You are absolutely right on the emotional stages you mentioned. When I began to realize my fall was a life-changing event for me, it was very difficult to accept. I did not want to burden my husband, family or friends with my recurring thoughts of being scared of losing my old self. When the crying spells started up with me, I scheduled an appointment with my psychologist right away. I was scared and started to feel as if a close family member had died. I didn't give a second thought to taking an anti-depressant. I needed it and I needed professional counseling to help me through that very rough emotional time... and any more that may come my way. If you want to get better, you need to help yourself. That seems like a very simple statement, but it's a very deep one.

    I will stop for now, so others can contribute to what you have shared.

    Once again, thank you for taking the time to write this.

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  • bigcat90 said:
    I have a real problem with this post,the other thread was closed and it was on the same subject,my pain is real i am not a surgical canidate,i had 22 suguries on my ears before the age of 12,my pain is not in my mind,where is the compassion on this forum gone to,this is the section for chronic pain,and these type of posts that are judge peolple shouldnt be allowed....i am offend by Michaels post and this one.
    Don't read it if it offends you. I never said your pain was not real. I never said my pain was not real. My pain is real. I have never doubted that your pain is real, Bigcat. The point of MY story is that I believe there is a mental component to help control pain and that being in real chronic pain causes psych issues. I invite you to re-read it, especially the parts where I say that while I have objective proof from an entire group practice of physicians that my pain is real,I acknowledge that chronic pain has caused mental health issues for me and that I have learned to use my brain to help with my pain.

    I invite you to visit Dr. Kubler-Ross's foundation's webpage about the cycle of grief and then re-read about how I feel it has been a part of my life in accepting my real chronic pain.

    I would be happy to discuss in PM what issues you believe should be allowed on SH, and what you issues you think are about compassion. All posts will not please everyone. While this one might offend you, many others offend me. You calling my compassion into question offends me. I have literally spent hours in chat when I would have liked to be sleeping or something else to give a sympathetic ear to a member in need. If every post had to agree with every member, what kind of place would this be? It would be a site with no members. Please keep that in mind.
  • I am glad to hear(well, not really glad, but feel better) that someone else understands the handicapped parking tag issue and can relate to it. Having a permanent one makes admitting chronic pain too real. I did not read my OP report for nearly 9 months after surgery. I had seen the films, but didn't want to read the full detailed report. Yeah, I see the scars on my back but to see it detailed out what machine parts were put in me? I understand where you're coming from.

    Hey, in your sig line you mention a platinum infrared heating pad. What the heck is that? I use a regular heating pad daily but would love something that would penetrate more deeply. If you can explain it here, I would love to hear it. If it is from a vendor website, please send me a PM with the link.

    Good luck to you.
  • Hi Ernurse (I know I should remember your first name, but the memory, lol).

    I have been an LPN for 30 years and remember when Dr. Kubler-Ross' research came out on death and dying. Her work in this subject area is outstanding! I refer to it all the time, whether it be for my own personal loss of my former "normal" self or for someone else here on this site. It took me 2 1/2 years to come to an acceptance that I can no longer tolerate working. Oh yes I went through all the denial, anger, depression, etc. And, I am sure, it will rear its ugly head over and over.

    One of my coping skills: I remember a private patient I had..a 37 year-old man with Duchene's (sp?)
    muscular dystrophy. Imagine him living so long! He is the first chronically ill patient I have actually fell in love with. Not in a way that some imagine, but because I had great respect for how he lived his life. He had great love for music, his room filled with stereo equipment blasting the Phantom of the Opera as I gave him CPT before hooking him up to his ventilator for the night. How we'd watch his soap opera, and his devotion to one of the actress's, being a member of her fan club, lol. He had every catalog you could imagine and loved to shop. He had his horror movies, which I watched along with him, much to my dismay, yikes! If he got upset and yelled at me, I knew not to take it personally. This quality he admired in me.

    So now, I have my interests that I can do and have become as passionate about as possible. And I'm happier because of it and don't feel the need to explain it to anyone when, for instance, I must watch my favorite show at the same time every day!

    Oh there are times I must bite my tongue per se when I see someone is not where I am at, but instead try very hard just to listen, to take out of my contact with someone what I like and to leave the rest.....

    And by the way, thank you for the times you have helped me...

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  • That it took to write the post. I'm not sure I understand it anymore than Michaels? Maybe a little.

    I guess you are trying to say that sometimes we get a little bit wrapped up in all our issues and lose the ability to not be that person?

    As far as posting on your post. I hope I have not broken any of your rules? Not sure how you can tell people to post or not post here?

  • ernurse, you have been through so much, it breaks my heart. What you've said here, and the way you have said it, IMHO would be difficult for anyone to contradict. "you say true, and I say thankya" as Roland of Gilead might say (Stephen King, The Dark Tower, if anyone's interested lol).

  • Yes, yes, yes. There is most definitely a psychological component to chronic pain. There are those of us that are fairly new to chronic pain (mine has been just over a year) and I believe we have to go through the grieving process.

    I have never seen anyone professional about my mental health - I tried that after my sister committed suicide and I simply couldn't do it. I find that I can't talk to a stranger about my innermost thoughts and so I rely on the only two people that I can truly confide in and get mental relief - my husband, Tony, and God. (Little Wally's a good listener too, but he's not world-wise yet. Just a happy-go-lucky puppy.)

    This does NOT mean, however, that this is the way I want it. I'd love to be able to talk to someone to let some of the heavy metal out of my brain, but I just don't work like that. This site also helps tremendously and it probably sounds incongruous that I can't talk to a stranger but I can find relief talking with strangers here...

    Anyway, I appreciate your post. You and I have talked before about your directness (among other things) and there is at least one person at S-H that appreciates it - me.

    I thank you for taking the time to post your story. I never knew what you'd been through and I'm glad you shared this very important part of yourself with us. I'm sure it wasn't easy because what we go through is very, very personal stuff and it took strength to do it.

    Your friend,
  • I have seen "professionals" for mental health for years. What I have mostly done is donated my money to them...

    I have found only one who truly helped me deeply. The others did lots of "exercises" to help my find my innner child, my angry passive man" my etc,,,

    I have found more profound thoughts and insight from others of my kind than "professionals".

    The one person that did help was much more than a normal book learned professional. She approached things on a more personal level, never scolding of chasitising, just pointing out the wrongenss of my thinking. She never told me what I "should" think either.

    I actually asked about getting some help in dealing with the new me. What I found was dead silence and what I received was confused looks by everyone I have asked. It seems there is a lacking in trained people who really understand how to help someone find the "new" them.

    I am simply going to have to figure this out with a little help from my friends...
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