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Real Pain and Real Psych or Brain/Body Links



  • Hi All,

    I am not embarrassed to admit that I was already seeing a wonderful counselor to help me cope with my anxiety about both my children having medical issues. I am so thankful that I have had this resource, and the insurance to help pay for it. I feel very blessed that I already had this in place when I hurt my neck 4 years ago. I have been on a very different physical, and emotional ride since then. I totally agree that there is a mind and body connection. I am not sure which one came first as Paul has mentioned. I just wish that more people were open to getting help! I feel that I was able to be a better Mom with the help and support that I got with dealing with all the medical worries. I am so thankful that I have this support to help me with the " new me". I still am not used to her yet, but I am working on it. She isn't as useful and productive as the old me, but she is still "ME" !!! I am working on it, and trying to accept all the changes. I hope that many others in here are open minded enough to seek help and accept help in many forms to make the best life possible!!!

  • I am very surprised at the positive reactions to my post! C-yep, we've butted heads before(and BionicWoman aka name stealer, and Ron, and others!) :) But I still respect you in the morning for your knowledge. I think sometimes I even enjoy the mental stimulation it creates, I'm not talking the drama, but the different points of view make me think twice about what I've said or how I'm acting. Got to say, I appreciate C, BionicWoman, and Virg's and many other's style of speaking-I'm usually very blunt and have tried hard to sugar coat what I say but I like the blunt style of communication.

    Oh, and I think I really like the BatteryBabe name, so don't take that one too, BionicWoman!

    Several have pointed out the effect on our children and that is such a good point to bring up. Also, adding in additional stages to the grieving/acceptance cycle tailored to spineys.

    Dave-My SCS is scheduled for Aug 14th. Lyrica, Neurontin, and Topamax were all no goes for me, like you, I tried everything before this last resort. Keep me updated on YOU!

    Michael-you have not posted and I had composed most of my message in a diary before I read your thread, but I think some of our thoughts are the same.

    Pete-yep, sunny day here too! I took a shower today and did a grocery store ride along! Big outing day, but at least I showered. I appreciate your positive attitude, so nice to meet you!

    Thank you all.
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  • I'm curious to know why you're converting this topic to mean that no pain is real and that all pain is mental? That's really not what anyone has implied.
  • I had serious pain in my back, but after an effective surgery I feel much better. Don't lose hope!
  • dilauroddilauro ConnecticutPosts: 12,519
    One thing I have learned in dealing with chronic pain for over 30 years is that there are many ups and downs. And over the years I have seen and talked to many medical professionals and patients regarding this subject.

    Summarizing it:

    This is the person who might not be able to accept their chronic pain and condition but they are so mad and angry at everything. They are angry about their pain, they are angry at family members, they are angry at doctors. By being tough and angry they feel that might be able to overcome their problems, but they would never let their guard down.

    Here is where so many people fit into. It may be their first experience with spinal surgery and the results have left them not really understanding what they can do or not do. They always look for something to help them. Many people in this category have not completely explored all the various avenues for spinal recovery and quality of life. For them, it may only be pain medications they are looking for to help their condition.

    These are the folks that have probably had more than one spinal surgery and know what its like to live every day in pain. But they look at this beast called chronic pain and figure how many ways they can beat it. These folks never give up, they always offer suggestions and help to others.

    But as I started this post, people are different, so while I may have created three different categories, many people can easily fit into more than one or all of them.
    There is no one path or course of action that is right for everyone. Each person must understand their condition, all the details about it and do what is best for THEM!
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  • After struggling to digest the information in this post the gratitude I feel is emotionally tiring but also exhilirating. All the posts have touched a chord in me and have opened my eyes in so many ways. Being able to understand the journey without having the benefit of directions, plus a few unexpected obstacles being added is at times frightening. Hearing others share their raw emotions but still striving to create validation in ways that allow them to live a "good-life". What I'm trying to say is my acting mad, sad & bad is only stopping me from re-inventing a better me. If learning and accepting a multi faceted treatment program including "brain-training" allows me to accept life is different but still good, myself and my family will benefit. Thank you for challenging my mindset and for all the contributors to this subject that many people would feel was in some ways accusatory of personal weakness. It is not my intention to anger anyone and I hope everyone reads your genuine desire for people to be living their best life possible -Hugs n' Loves- Paula
  • Hi, i wanted to say ,i did misread the first post,early on in my back injury, i did have problems with a pain center telling me the pain was in my mind and not real,but i have had a couple a mri that proved i had some problems in my lower back,i am sorry if i offened ernurse with my post,i had a lot of surguries from a very early age,so i know alot about surffuring,and chronic pain,i had 22 ear surguries in the first 12 years of my life,i also had a doctor pull a ear tube out of my ear,when i was awake,that was very dramatic for me,i was about seven years old,i also grew up withhout ever seeing my real father,and that has had a big impact on my life,i just wanted some of the people to understand me a little bit better,i do get emotional sometimes,and i am sorry if that has showed in some of my posts....Cory....
  • You know, I am so happy that while I posted this with lot of intent to be therapeutic for myself(sometimes it helps me to write things down), it has made others consider things or look at different viewpoints, or share very personal stories, or give ME more to think about.

    C-never even thought about a medic alert bracelet and the old me would never have gotten one. I spent some time last night pricing them online.

    Ron and Paul-thanks for letting this thread play out, it had potential to be volatile. Actually, I remember a thread from a previous site where Ron and I butted heads about disabled parking plates and look at me now, getting a tag! Guess I should have kept my mouth shut then, don't remember exactly what I posted, but I think I was negative about it. I am sorry if I was.

    Michael-I never knew you were blunt! My, what are you talking about? ROFL. I thought you were awarded the annual Spiney Sweet-Talker Award! LOL. We must have been on the same wavelength the other night, because I wanted to post my stuff in your thread(yeah, kind of hijacking!) but started my own.

    Bigcat-you did not upset me, I expected a lot more negative notes then actually happened. Yes, you did post that my post offended you, but so all know, Bigcat sent me a PM and told me he did not mean to upset me. I think that was very big of you. Whether you agree or disagree with someone, that is an action I have to respect.

    As a general statement, there have been many times where I have jumped to conclusions or lashed out or not thought about how my words would affect someone. And, there have been times when I meant exactly what I said, too(like if I call out a faker or I think something is just b.s.) I now try to read the boards without logging in first-that way it gives me a moment to think before I write just in case I need to. I am so very used to being under the microscope by non-spineys, family, "friends", work, that sometimes I can get a little bit defensive.

    Got to tell you all-I wrote most of my original post in a diary as kind of a way to make it real to me. I wrote it as I had finally committed in my mind to a SCS, got approval for biofeedback, and made an appointment with pain mgmt to actually sign a pain med contract. To me, this is all accepting that my new buddy is around forever. I'll still get angry at times and battle depression, but one of the purposes was an affirmation to myself that my new(old) buddy(chronic pain) will be my lifelong partner I have to deal with.

    I went to the doc with a little different attitude after posting and reading the initial posts. I signed the contract(first time for me, so many surgeries I'm always considered just on postop pain meds), and really felt good about it as another tool to help me take control. My doc(thankfully, and I know I'm lucky on this one) gave me what I thought I needed. We did a little tweaking, too, with his suggestions and I can already tell a difference. OK, is that difference cuz of the meds totally? I don't think so. Course, getting stronger meds and new ones certainly make you feel better, but so much of it is attitude for me. He believed me and agreed with me. My last two days I've only cried when reading the touching stories here and when Eve has made me laugh really hard. Usually I cry every day, but not the last couple. I just really feel at peace right now(uh, but that will change mid-August when I complain about the postop pain from my perm SCS!)

    Pete-it was another sunny day here, my hubby drove me to my mom's house and I was able to supervise him doing some yard work there. You are amazing with your positive attitude.

    Because I hurt, my hubby even tolerated me turning up the radio for the drive home and "zoning out" to my music. Does that fix my back? No, but it did help distract me until my meds kicked in a little. Tonight and prob tomorrow I will spend most of the time on the couch with heating pad and pillows, but if I can get a good day every few days, I'll take that.

    Validation was brought up. Damn, I think that is one thing we all want! So important. And the fear factor. And the afraid to hope just in case something doesn't work. And the docs that tell us they have a 90% fusion success rate but fail to explain that means bone growing together, not 90% success rate in decreasing pain!

    About sig lines-they are great so that you don't have to re-introduce yourself and others can see who has had similar experiences as them. I used to have one about my spine, but on this new site, I decided no. I thought if newbies read what happened to me in such a short time(yes, many people are worse off) that they'd run for the hills screaming.

    Well, this is another one of my long-winded posts. I believe I consistently win the annual Most Long Winded Spiney award. Good day to all, and to all a good night!

  • dilauroddilauro ConnecticutPosts: 12,519
    heads over different subjects, but I have always respected what you had to say. I have no problem with people saying what they believe in. I think its easier hearing words from someone like that then from hearing words from some one who is just wishy washy
  • One of the worst fears I have dealt with in a very long time, was not knowing whether the SCS trial would go well and whether the SCS would help me at all.


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