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Tears and Fears

jayhawkjjayhawk Posts: 1,032
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:42 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I really am beginning to understand the ups and downs of this recovery! It really is a roller coaster ride!

I woke up this morning feeling so good! I had slept through the night for the 2nd night in a row (with the use of benedryl)!

During physical therapy we (PT and I) realized the weakness and significant tremor that I have in my left leg. The scariest part is that once the tremor gets started, it's hard to stop. Typically, when an extermity is weak, it may shake while you are trying to use it, but once you stop, the tremor stops as the muscles aren't being asked to cont to work.

I have my surgeon's voice in the back of my head that I could have MS or some other neurological issue. It's so hard to look at my leg, will it to work in my mind and then watch it do nothing but shake. There is such a huge difference in strength in my 2 legs! I cried, my PT cried! She did say that nerves that have been compressed, can, and do, get better. Please pray that this is only due to nerve compression and nothing more!!

Honestly seeing the signif. difference in leg strengths, I'm amazed, I haven't fallen! I need to be so very careful!



  • Lots of ups and downs.
    Post op I was good, neck pain was better and nerve pain down left arm was gone, a couple weeks into recovery, all of the sudden my whole left arm went numb. I thought they fixed my nerve problem, I must be having a heart attack. I was scared and started slapping my wrist/arm to see if I had feeling anywhere. I think once the nerves start working after being compressed, in my case a year, they have a mind of their own, or synapes get skipped. It happened a 1/2 dozen times over a couple weeks, then seems to have gone away. I hope it is so in your case. I just think they need to get used to regeneration.
  • Jayhawk I am sorry the therapy and your leg are not going the way you want it to. It very well may just be something that takes time from the poor nerves being under pressure for so long. I will say an extra prayer tonight to hope for your leg to start getting strong for you again. You stay tough, cause I know you are. Try to remember your faith that got you through the surgery in the first place and know that it will get you through this also.

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  • I think if my surgeon had not talked to me about his concern that I may have a neurological issue as well and the nerve compression, I would just look at this as a strength/weakness issue. Really it is the tremor that bothers me. It is just so pronounced.

    I will continue to work hard in physical therapy and on my own, as well as continue with my faith.

    It took everyone by surprise today. :(

    Thank you so much for your support and prayers! :) "Spiney" friends rock!!
  • I had a TLIF w/instrumentation & decompression on 2/2/10. I immediately noticed the nerve pain in my left leg was completely gone. I just had what I assumed was the usual surgical pain.

    After my first follow-up 4 weeks after surgery, I found out the top 2 screws had moved a bit. I got a brace and was not let off restrictions and told I could not start PT yet. I was encouraged to walk more, wearing the brace of course.

    I have noticed that as soon as I started walking more, and now that the weather has become nice, the walks have become a little bit longer each week, my nerve pain in the same left leg started again each night around 6:00 p.m. I just keep telling myself that is something that can happen. There was no guarantee of complete relief of nerve pain. I also know it can take awhile for nerves to return to their normal state. I had ulnar nerve surgery years ago and took a full year for complete relief.

    You're not alone in your tears and fears and roller coaster ride. I truly hope it is just the nerve recovering and nothing more and that it gets better and better every day.

  • Awww Shari, It seems we are all struggling with difficult recoveries. I am sorry your leg is so bad. Isn't there some kind of testing for MS or other Neuro disorders? I am not a patient person and that's part of my frustration. But taking a wait and see attitude with that type of disease, seems to be a disaster waiting to happen.

    I hope you can find out soon what the deal is. Good vibes your way. And thanks for all of your help.

    Gentle Hugs,
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  • It sucks!
    I have to say it and it's not encouraging but today I have to agree with you...the downs stink!

    I hope tonight brings you a 3rd night of good rest!

  • I'm sorry you are having a down day. You would never know it cuz you are always cheering everyone else on. Tomorrrow is another day and pray for a good one for you! I find myself very emotional. I get teary easily watching the stupidest things on tv. We have been through alot! Have a restful night. Lynette
  • Traci, there is testing that can be done for MS, etc. I had a MRI of my brain and there are no lesions~hurray! This all happened as I was scheduling surgery. I really wanted to have my surgery and be given a chance to recover before though neuro testing. I was able to talk my surgeon into this also (although he was reluctant).

    Maybe it will turn out to not be the best choice, but I felt it was too much to process at the same time. Since there isn't scaring in my brain, I felt like I had some time.....

    Thanks everyone for your support! and prayers! Shari
  • Agh....some days I'm not sure why I try. I went for a walk today. And I didn't want to as I worked so hard in PT yesterday and took my longest walk yet last night with my family. I really feel it in my legs and abdominal insicion. But, I know we are suppose to walk and I want to get better. During my walk, I dropped my keys! And I am by myself! My husband is gone, my neighbors are gone. I find one man down the street doing yard work, but he doesn't speak English and I don't speaf fluent Spanish~definately not enough to ask for my keys.

    I kick my keys home. Thank goodness my hubby took my SUV today and left his car, which is much lower to the ground. I sat on the edge of the floor board, took off my socks and shoes. After many attempts, I finally succeed in using my feet to bring the keys up my leg to wear I can reach them. ugh!!!
  • shari---when I did PT the first time around the leg that had been effected shook---I was trying the stretch where you go up and down on the ball of your foot-my leg shook too much,but it did get stronger---have faith!
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