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I am so fed up!!

jellyhalljjellyhall Posts: 4,342
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:43 AM in Recovering from Surgery

I am just over 7 weeks post lumbar fusion. Up until now, I have managed to remain optimistic, even despite various problems that have slowed down my recovery.

I know that compared with some, I am doing well and my pain levels are much better than some others.

I think my main reason for feeling so fed up is the state of my house! I have a friend who is coming to visit me on Friday, who hasn't been to my house before. I am really looking forward to seeing her but I feel really bad for her to see the house in this awful state!

I am so frustrated that I have lots of time, but can't clean and tidy it adequately. We have a conservatory which has become a dumping ground for things moved to free up the lounge and spare room, to make room for a downstairs bed and space for me during my recovery. I live with my husband and grown up son. They are helping in so many ways :-) but they just don't seem to see the dirt and mess.

I so hate having to keep asking for help with things and feel like I should be doing more as I am home doing practically nothing all day. I am going to do some cleaning today, but there is no way that I can tackle some of the worst mess! I know there are more important things in life than having a clean and tidy house, but this is really stressing me out. I just feel like crying.

I knew that this was going to be a long recovery, but it is so frustrating to sit here, looking at all the things that need doing and not be able to tackle it. Sometimes I feel that I will just do it, but as soon as I start, I hurt!

I am sorry to go on in such a negative way. I am just feeling soooo fed up! Did you guess?

I hope that other spineys are having a good day, and if you are feeling fed up like me, maybe it will help to know that someone else feels the same way :-)


  • A real friend, new or old, really isn't going to care whether the house is immaculate or not - they are coming to see you and to see how you are recovering, they're not the cleaning police, (are they!??!) if they are why did you invite them !??? LOL

    Take it easy if you are going to attempt anything - the last thing you need is a set back!!!!

    If it is really important to you, tell hubby and your son of your concerns and let it slip that unless (although as you have said they are great!) they can go that extra mile for you that you are getting a maid service in.................................................................................A MALE MAID !!!!!

    Lets see how fast they move then !!!!!!!

    Nothing meant as serious in the last paragraph!!

    just hoping I can put a little smile on your face on a down day!!

    Take Care
  • (I am Sussex girl!)

    you made me laugh. I have just been for a walk in the sunshine, so am feelng more cheerful. I know this friend wants to see me not the house.

    Up until the last week, I have been very optimistic, but now I think I am getting bored and fed up. There are so many things I want to do, but am unable to.
    It is so helpful to be able to off load on here. Thanks for responding :D
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  • i had to reply to let you know how much i understand how you are feeling!

    i am inoperable, and unable to do much in the way of cleaning around the house due to pain and not being able to stand/bend. i also have 3 VERY capable children ages 11, 12,13 that can/could do more to help, but give more grief about it than i have energy for.

    so, i am now waiting for PCA service to start. in the meantime, i try to ignore some of it, beg for help from friends, have payed a neighbor to mop the floors...and do what i can when i can, and try my best not to let it get me down too much!

    ...remember "the serenity prayer", it has gotten me through alot lately with all of these spine issues!

  • A really good friend would offer to come over to help you clean up. I wish I had one of those :(
  • Glad I made you smile - my good deed for the day!!!

    where abouts in sussex are you??

    i've lived in Eastbourne, Alfriston, & Hove over the years when I was a hotel manager.

    Give it time - be warned i didn't and i am in a worse situation now!!

    I also understand that there is only so much day time telly that you can stomach before you want to smack David Dickenson's "orange chops"! ROFLOL

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  • I bumped into a friend while I was out for my walk and she asked me how I was. I cried!!
    She is coming round next week to vacuum before having a coffee and chat with me. Now she IS a really good friend! :D

    Dorset Boy I'm in Crawley and love gardening! I keep looking at the garden and can't wait to get those weeds out!

  • I must accept the things I can't change for the time being. There is the hope that in the future, I'll be better than I have been for the couple of years before surgery. I need to learn patience!

    Thanks for replying :-)
  • unfortunately, my "good friends" all disappeared when i could no longer drive to see them! i do have people who will run to the store for me, and the friend that i paid, well-she needed the money and the floor was horrific! (she will also be my PCA if all goes well!)

    so far, although we have just met, she seems to be a very kind, giving person, that likes to help others for nothing more than friendship in return.

  • She sounds like a 'good friend' in the making. :-)
  • Try looking at it this way: When you go to someone's house, how much do you really notice about how clean their house is? When you left, did you think "Man, those baseboards were a mess" or "Wow, did you see the dust on the top of those cupboards?"

    I realized that I rarely notice how clean a friend's house is unless it's just disgusting, which I doubt your is.

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