Oh my goodness...I am just beside myself, having bad thoughts b/c the pain is just unbearable for me! I am going to come up short with my pain meds b/c i've been waking in the middle of the night with excruciating pain and can't get comfy to go back to sleep. I try taking an additional ambien even, but it's the pain that is so bad...until I take a good dose of pain meds, I can't even nod back off. I feel so sorry for my hubby...I wish we owned a recliner and had in in the living room room or office, so I don't keep him awake with my tossing and turning and moaning! Does anyone take oxycontin 4 times a day? I already take it 3 times at 60mg! I also have oxycodone 20mg IR...but one pill will not touch the pain at all! I'm getting really scared that things are progressing or something is going on! I'm going to have to ask my doctor for my refills earlier...which he'll be ok with, I'm sure.
But, for the last year or so my l5s1 plus severe sciatica has been the pain I've been fighting so much, but all of the sudden, my neck/arm pain with weak hand is back and I mean with a vengence! So, my entire whole right side is screwed up! I do not want another MRI...I do not want surgery! I've been saying no, no, no. But, I don't know what to do? I'm on a good bit of narcotics plus topamax, plus soma, plus toradol prn...then my doctor gives me a hefty toradol injection when I'm flaired up. I do have a refill on my steroids...maybe I could try that...but this doesn't feel like my usual flair ups. I just don't know where to go...I know I don't have my diagnoses in my signature so for those who don't know I have bulging and herniated discs from c3/4 to l5/s1...a couple of them were against the thecal sac whatever that really means. I also have scholiosis and spinal stenosis at on level in my neck. My l5/s1 herniation is a big one. There is DDD thruout my spine. They say my spine looks 50-60 years old altghouh I'm 37. I've really tried every treatment modality. I would like to do the aqua therapy, but I'd have to win my SSD benefits in order to afford it.
Nothing helps my pain, and we all know that the narcotics only mask some of the pain. My doctor has mentioned sending me to Johns Hopkins to see one of their spine specialist, get a discogram and possibly a Dilaudid pain pump as he sees my prognosis as very grim due to as many discs that are involved and the nerve damage I've encured.
Anyway, I guess I am ranting...what else can any of you think of that I may be missing out on? I really do not want to start the cascade of numerous spinal surgeries! I'm scared! I can't make it thru the day and night with this much pain. I missed all 3 of my little ones soccer and baseball games today!! It's making it harder to be a MOM! zI'ts heartbreaking and I don't want my kids to remember me like this! I'm grumpy and very quiet and no fun when I am in pain. Then they don't get the love and cuddles and attention they needs. [ok, crying like a baby now]...my hubby has always supported me, goodness, he does every bit of housework, plus makes a living for us. He needs a break! But, lately, he is becoming less able to understand or maybe feeling less helpless that he can't rescue me as he loves to do.
I'm sorry...so sorry for going on and on...I am just in a crazy, immeasureable amount of pain and see nothing to help!