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My pain is off the charts!!!

tarheelgirlttarheelgirl Posts: 472
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:47 AM in Chronic Pain
Oh my goodness...I am just beside myself, having bad thoughts b/c the pain is just unbearable for me! I am going to come up short with my pain meds b/c i've been waking in the middle of the night with excruciating pain and can't get comfy to go back to sleep. I try taking an additional ambien even, but it's the pain that is so bad...until I take a good dose of pain meds, I can't even nod back off. I feel so sorry for my hubby...I wish we owned a recliner and had in in the living room room or office, so I don't keep him awake with my tossing and turning and moaning! Does anyone take oxycontin 4 times a day? I already take it 3 times at 60mg! I also have oxycodone 20mg IR...but one pill will not touch the pain at all! I'm getting really scared that things are progressing or something is going on! I'm going to have to ask my doctor for my refills earlier...which he'll be ok with, I'm sure.

But, for the last year or so my l5s1 plus severe sciatica has been the pain I've been fighting so much, but all of the sudden, my neck/arm pain with weak hand is back and I mean with a vengence! So, my entire whole right side is screwed up! I do not want another MRI...I do not want surgery! I've been saying no, no, no. But, I don't know what to do? I'm on a good bit of narcotics plus topamax, plus soma, plus toradol prn...then my doctor gives me a hefty toradol injection when I'm flaired up. I do have a refill on my steroids...maybe I could try that...but this doesn't feel like my usual flair ups. I just don't know where to go...I know I don't have my diagnoses in my signature so for those who don't know I have bulging and herniated discs from c3/4 to l5/s1...a couple of them were against the thecal sac whatever that really means. I also have scholiosis and spinal stenosis at on level in my neck. My l5/s1 herniation is a big one. There is DDD thruout my spine. They say my spine looks 50-60 years old altghouh I'm 37. I've really tried every treatment modality. I would like to do the aqua therapy, but I'd have to win my SSD benefits in order to afford it.

Nothing helps my pain, and we all know that the narcotics only mask some of the pain. My doctor has mentioned sending me to Johns Hopkins to see one of their spine specialist, get a discogram and possibly a Dilaudid pain pump as he sees my prognosis as very grim due to as many discs that are involved and the nerve damage I've encured.

Anyway, I guess I am ranting...what else can any of you think of that I may be missing out on? I really do not want to start the cascade of numerous spinal surgeries! I'm scared! I can't make it thru the day and night with this much pain. I missed all 3 of my little ones soccer and baseball games today!! It's making it harder to be a MOM! zI'ts heartbreaking and I don't want my kids to remember me like this! I'm grumpy and very quiet and no fun when I am in pain. Then they don't get the love and cuddles and attention they needs. [ok, crying like a baby now]...my hubby has always supported me, goodness, he does every bit of housework, plus makes a living for us. He needs a break! But, lately, he is becoming less able to understand or maybe feeling less helpless that he can't rescue me as he loves to do.

I'm sorry...so sorry for going on and on...I am just in a crazy, immeasureable amount of pain and see nothing to help!
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Comments

  • TarHeelGirl,

    Sorry to hear you are experiencing so much pain. The only thing really to do at this point is to either reach out to your doctor, or maybe go to the ER? I only mention ER because of your statement of your "pain is off the charts." I hope you have some relief soon - no this stuff is no fun! *HUGZ*

    Brenda
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I would not go to the ER b/c of the stigma...they will just label me a drug seeker and send me on my way. I am a nurse, remember? I know what they say about spineys.
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  • I forgot you were a nurse. Myself I don't go to the ER not for the stigma, but for the fact that short of something they can 'fix', drugs don't, so I wait till the next day - plus the cost far outweighs what they really do for us in many cases.

    Now, take the nurse aspect out, and maybe you can see why I suggested ER secondly to your doctor? Joe person with "pain off the charts".... Hope you're feeling better.

    Brenda
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • tarheel gal, I am truly sorry that you are going through all this pain. I know how you feel, I really would like to tell you to take another dose, lay down and relax, I took an extra dose a couple days ago and I regreted that. But try to relax in a darl room, with soft music. I find that soft music and a small vibrator in the area of my back does work wonders. Hope you get some relief soon. SLH
  • Hugs, girl! Let's get through this. Don't get crazy with those meds!
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  • I have some days when nothing helps too.. I'm 32 and have a 2yr and 4yr old, there is no quiet dark place to hide here.. except maybe the garage.. my closet.. anyway the kids don't let up. Kiss your man and tell him how much you love him and kiss those kids and tell them you love them and by then, 5 more minutes will have passed.. try to sleep, anyway you can.. but you know if you take too many meds you will feel worse and it won't do any good anyway. Plus you will need them later.. Can you see your doctor Monday? Does your PM doctor know what is happening to you? you should see someone as soon as possible, no one deserves the type of pain you are in.
    Can you get a massage? maybe a good rubdown and bubble bath will at least distract you for a moment or two? I like to go get a pedicure in a massage chair when I'm really flared up. Some people can't stand to be touched, but not me... I need contact to feel better.. candy and cookies help too.. I could send you some homemade chocolate & peanut butter chip cookies. I know it's not much but It's the best I got. I hope this pain you are feeling passes as quickly as possible and that you can find comfort and rest soon.
  • Hi Tarhill girl, I am sorry to have mentioned an extra dose.

    Set the mood.

    With a Pillow placed where your knees can overlay them, turn on a CD with Soft music, get a small vibrator. Now lay down with you knees on across the pillows, take a few deep breaths, put the vibrator in the effected area, small of your back, and just relax the soothing music sould make you sleepy and forget about your pain.

    Hope your pain leaves you. SLH
  • I agree about the ER visit...I had forgotten about the copay...so there is another reason I would not go. I have been taking more medication lately, which I've heard my doctor say he's had patients do that in the past and called him crying b/c they were out early and he said, "if that ever happens, just call and I'll take care of it"...he is very sweet...he is my pcp...he's out of the office from the 10th to the 20th. When he gets back, I'll give him a couple days then I'll call him directly after hours on his cell phone...I'm one of the only ones who has his private number to call directly to him. I will explain to him and I guess we will do more 'tweaking' as he calls it....

    But, my hubby, who has said I could never be on the fentanyl patches again (b/c he is nervous of a defective product)...said to me while balling my eyes out about an hour ago that maybe we need to look at that again. I don't know. Does anyone take oxycontin 4 times a day? Or I wonder if I need to go to the 80mg dose? I just don't know where to go...and can't take it much more.

    I can stand a bath and heating pad, but no one touches my right sciatic/lower back area! I guard that area with my life! My heating pad is broken and I can't afford one now. Maybe I should soak. I can stand for my hubby to rub my feet and calves where I have horrible spasms. I just took two two 20mg IR oxycodone (my doctor said to take 1 1/2 if I need to). I feel like I took candy. Why is nothing working??
  • Oh, goodness, I'm so sorry you're in such awful pain. Wish there was something I could do to help.

    Just wondering if you couldn't manage to get a new heating pad. It wouldn't cost nearly what your meds cost and would do you good.

    Have you tried ice? Ice doesn't work well for me but others here swear by it and it doesn't cost anything. Just thinking out loud...
    Linda

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • Tarhill Girl, I Know you have children and all but that warm bath should relax you a little. Relax. Relax. Put a pillow behind your head in the bath tub. Relax, Relax. I hope you get some relief soon I really think the meds are not working because you are not relaxing. This is best advice I can give to you. Hope the pain subsizes soon. SLH
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