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Nostalgia and PAIN

zigazziga Posts: 142
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:55 AM in Neck Pain: Cervical
I get very nervous every time I try to do my stuff because everything feels so extremely different. I am fused c5- c6 and I had other expectations. Do some of you prefer some of the pain you use to have instead of the pain in the neck when you do everything?

I am sorry, I am really very lost, I feel like a total different person. My energy levels are very low. I don't take pain meds, I manage what I have with klonopin.

Is difficult for me to be interested in other things, I guess I am waiting to be me again.

I don't know if I have to expose myself more. I get so so sad and nervous when I see my friends so normal. I get scare. I want to be able to accept this and believe I can be better. The surgeon told me I could do whatever I want after a while but it seems to me I felt better doing the things before the surgery, everything was more fluent, the pain did not make me feel like another person. Not able to move my neck as before confuses me in my daily living. Is as is my mind is expecting something but my body another thing. I am scare to go out and be with my friend and not be able to be friendly.

I was so much hoping operation was going to grant me more security, but kissing, cuuddling is totally different and weird. I feel mentally lost, confused. My energy levels to do things are incredibly low.

I went to visit my nephews and in my head I wanted to play like I use to with them, but I was there with them in pain, sad but smiling. This is a real nightmare for me.

I really don't know how to make it better. I have to forget my old me? Belief that I will be better?

Has it happened to any of you, that you had pain in your arms, but could still do stuff and no pain in the neck and after surgery now you have constant pain in the neck?

Do you think you felt better before surgery? Does it gets better?

I am sorry to writ so much, I am just so very anxious, I was wanting so much to be able to play with dogs, go in the floor with them, walk them without fear. I get the feeling that I was less vulnerable before surgery, I think I was more scared of hurting myself (I did have pain) but not this much or not this strange feeling.

I know many don't notice their lost of range of motion, for me its been a desconcertating, it makes me feel like another person. All of this... wow!


I am going to the doctor on thursday



  • Alicia,

    I am glad you are going to the doctor on Thursday to discuss this. I had a one level acdf about 5 weeks ago and I do not have very much neck pain at all. Most of my pain now is burning in my upper/mid back and dull/soreness in my lower back. Some of which may or may not be from the ACDF.

    How far post op are you?
    ACDF C4-5 June 23rd, 2011

    Another surgery in the near future. I am 26 years old.

    Current Meds- Norco 7.5/325, Cymbalta 60mg, Gabapentin, Adderall 20mg
  • One thing I notice in your post is your using klonopin, which some of the things your describing could be a direct effect of that medication, as in not wanting to do things. You need to make sure your doctor understands your having these issues, as there are other medications that can be used.

    As far as seeing your doctor, you need to explain that your muscles are still very tight, which some message therapy might help you or some physical therapy. Being a one level fusion yes you have lost some ROM, but it shouldn't be that much for a one level fusion. They say for every level fused you should loose about 10% so that shouldn't limit you from turning or looking up or down, so you might have some muscle issues at play. Also a muscle relaxer might do you well, as some of the pain maybe coming from the tightness and muscle spasms. Just a guess, but that might be what is needed to help you out. of course they could use a dose of steroids, as in a medrol dose pak, to help any swelling and get you going. I have seen some members post surgery get a ESI and that was all that was needed and did the trick into making them better. Remember not everyone responds to the surgery in the same way. Also the surgery is performed for many different reasons, so don't compare your bodies healing to anyone else. As your surgery may have been done for a completely different reason that someone else.

    Do yourself a favor and write down the symptoms and issues you are having so your ready to discuss it with the doctor this week. Having it written down will help you to stay on track in your meeting. Good luck and keep us posted on how you get along.
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  • Just wanted to wish you well with your appt on Thursday.

    When one finds that they can not do the things that they are used to, they can definitely become depressed or frustrated to say the least. I am pre-surgery and am feeling that way being limited w my activities. I agree w Tam Tam that all these things need to be addressed at your next appt. Also, not being a very patient person myself, sometimes we need to look at it as just that. Congratulate yourself on the simple things that you can accomplish for now. Take it one day at a time. Good luck!

    Gentle Hugs,

  • Thanks to all for your answers very muc, and your time. I could not go to the dr. it was to full. They'll see if they can see me next thursday. I'll go on monday to look for my medical orders for x-rays. Well, I'll tell you how it went.

  • Thanks to all for your answers very muc, and your time. I could not go to the dr. it was to full. They'll see if they can see me next thursday. I'll go on monday to look for my medical orders for x-rays. Well, I'll tell you how it went.
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  • HI Ziga;

    I'm not sure when your surgery was, but it sounds like it was fairly recent. It does take time to heal, we have just have to learn to be patient (a pretty hard feat for a lot of us!). Not knowing when it was, I can't say if it's just post--op pain you're experiencing or not. The surgeons do tend to be rather rough when they open us up and poke around in there.

    I agree with all of what tamtam said, you need to tell you doctor everything that you're feeling now, and about your new pain and loss of range of motion. A lot of us do have issues with muscle spasms after surgery, so yes, maybe a muscle relaxant or massage therapy or physio will help you. You also need to tell him what you're feeling. Depression is normal when we're in pain for so long. The anxiety is normal too, we're all afraid of re-injuring and having to go through all of this all over again. But, we can't be afraid, because if we don't do anything, it will actually make the whole situation worse. Cath111 reposted a thread another member made in the Chronic Pain section titled Pushing Yourself, I recommend reading it, it's a great post that the member made, and all the replies are good too, about dealing with being active after surgery. There are things the doctor can do for you for your depression/anxiety, like refer you to a therapist or medication even. It's important to deal with those issues, as depression and anxiety will make the pain worse.

    Your doctor can also refer you to a pain management specialist. They can administer injections that might help, and take over your meds as well.

    I wish you luck on Thursday when you see your doctor. Remember to tell him everything that you're experiencing, from the pain to the emotional issues. There is help out there!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own

  • Hi!

    Thanks again for all your answers. My operation was in January 26. I am going out to walk now. And do some of the exercises suggested. Today I am not going to let all the phantoms in. I just thought that it was going to be easier. I know that must of you have lost a lot o range of motion. For me feeling a external boy in my body has change my relation with myself. I am sorry I think I need to write my story in the introduction area so when people read me know about me.

    I experience way to many changes in my life before having the surgery, I did a lot of alternative things that were working. My concern is about having done something that may need future surgery and its so strange because surgery is supposed to give you protection and then I feel more vulnerable now. I am still in quite a shock because I really thought I was making it without surgery. I need to accept this change. Even as subtle as it could be I feel as if there were a phantom ziga.

    I have taken antidepressants and they have make me worst, medication for pain also, klonopin helps me to sleep and for anxiety but it deppress me. Tamtam I did not take a medrol pack but I had a steroid injection like 2 weeks later for the pain. I am very sensitive with medication, I know steroids can change your mood. and that is how my mood is up and down. But today I'll work with mrs. power will. There is a neurologist called Luria and he did studies with Vygotsky about the plasticity of the brain and how will affects it. So I know I have to start working on forward. I guess I was not prepare for all this change.

    I use to eat very healthy, and be very expressive with the body, use a lot of body language to work with my kids. Use to be very affectionate and as if I was living in delay world, I finally was starting to feel less pain and I was hugging my friends without fear, but then I got the surgery I did not know it would male me more scare than before.

    I need so much to have faith, and stop thinking of whom I was but start thinking of who I will be. Stop frustrating myself with all I wanted to do. I see my room want to pick it up as I used to... I just feel I felt more capable before surgery. AAAAaAaaaaa Iknow focus, talk again to my doctor, that what he always says is give it time, and be much more serious with pt. I need to see if I'll be able to work, I started working and it was very frustrating.

    I think all the medicines, emotions, stress have driven me into a labyrinth that only will will move me forward. Is so strange is how everything change.

    I feel that fear sometimes at least it did it to me drive us to make decisions maybe with not a clear mind and also pain.

    I want to continue with my life and stop feeding it with fear and with what I could do as if that would time travel me. Thank you again.

    I will read the post you told me!

    And will keep you all post about the visit with the doctor.


  • What is an ESI?

  • Epidural Steroid Injection
  • Thanks, I havent had an epidural injection.
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