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zigazziga Posts: 142
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:57 AM in Depression and Coping

I am in a circle... smiles come to my face but then voila, gone. I went to my physiatrist today she understand that the headaches don't have to do with the fusion.

I don't know if I will be out of this. I am tired. In the path of my life I had different situations which I was finally being able to deal with.

When my disc herniated, I learned a lot about alternative medicine, I read a lot... now my concentration is so poor...

Well I just can't continue writing... just want out.

Wish I could be happy with my family, my friends, I feel useless I want to be useful... antidepressive have make it worst.

Just this today,


So many things in my head that I don't get to transport to here.


  • Please talk to your doctor about changing your anti depressant.

    We all have our down moments and sometimes they seem to last longer and longer. Think of something that makes you smile or makes you happy and focus on that. When I get really down and think I am in too much pain to want to go on I think of my cats and that they need me and that I love them and they are my family and that keeps me going.

    Find that one thing and then don't let go of it. Find a support group or something you can go to on a regular basis.

    Keep us posted. Tomorrow is always a new day.

    L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion, L5/S1 fusion w/ disc replacement, left and right SI joints fused.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,241
    Any kind of change in life..transition..can throw some of us for loop.
    Add chronic pain..the never letting up...and it's difficult to keep bouncing back.

    It seems you have said that with previous experiences, you've eventually come around and out of the funk.
    That's so good to remember. You already have experience with hope and things getting better, eventually.

    Also, great you are seeing doctor. Call and tell him how you feel and keep at it until something helps....trial and try again.

    Some of us have this sadness over us more often than others for whatever reason..chemical, personality..etc..

    Just knowing about ourselves and keeping focused on tomorrow or next week...there's hope for change or at least an occaisional pleasant distraction that we are grateful to have witnessed.

    Hang in there. Love your people best you can..may need to start with gentleness and acceptance of the new you. You're worth isn't your job. And I bet you wouldn't say that to someone, else. Be as kind to yourself. :)
    Keep us posted...vent...whatever you need. We'll take turns lifting each other up :)
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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  • Thanks for taking the time to help.

    Thanks Savage, I forgot that we PM before, is this normal? My memory was so much clearer. You could remember what I post and write back as for saying that I have overcome certain situations, that is good that you can follow. Sometimes I find myself and more lately that I can't follow.

    Thanks for caring.

    I wake up, did not go to the university...


  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,241
    Ziga, you make me smile!
    It can take me about 10 or 15 minutes to write out post. My words go missing or scrambled...
    and I reread what you have said...written...before I post to be sure I'm even close to understanding.. and then I'm trying to convey my thoughts.

    If anyone was watching me, it would probably look like I'm doing homework LOL :)

    My concentration and memory...terrible. Maybe trying to maintain pain control takes all my energy. I don't know...but I feel the same as you do! :)

    So, we'll continue to work with docs to get some kind of balance and hang in there with each other!

    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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