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Don't know how much more I can handle

mthomsenmmthomsen Posts: 4
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:57 AM in Chronic Pain
I've had back issues for years now, but recently it's been getting much worse. In the past year or so it's gone from moderate, to the point where I have to use a cane, to this now.

Had an MRI last month, have a couple of degenerating discs, one disc that is bulging halfway down the disc below it, spondylolisthesis, bony spurs and nerve impingement. I go see a neurosurgeon for a consult on the 8th, to see if there is anything they can/will do to help. best case will probably be a month or two out.

In the meantime, I'm losing it. My pain is consistently at an 8 or 9, and hits a 10 a couple of times a day. I tried to walk through the grocery store today to pick up a few things, and had to leave halfway through cause I was crying from the pain. I've had a number of nights where I've just broken down sobbing on my wife because I can't take it anymore. I can't shower without help, can't dress without help and I've been working from home because I can't sit long enough to work at the office. I can't sleep until I basically pass out from exhaustion, and then I only get an hour or two. The painkillers I have are doing me no good any more.

I feel like I am losing any sense of being a person; I'm just a giant ball of pain. I've only ever cried from pain once before as an adult, and that involved some heavy trauma combined with some big ol' kidney stones. Now i'm a crying wreck damn near every day. I don't really have any friends to talk to, and couldn't go out if I did. I feel too guilty to try and unload any more on my wife, because she already has to to way to much for me. I feel like I'm making her single parent the kids *and* me. I want to scream and cry and hit something. How do people do this? What am I supposed to do for the next couple of months?!? I wish someone could help me...


  • do you have leg pain and sciatica also? will your dr. not give you any pain medications or nerve pain meds? my dr. was on holiday and i had to go to er and get enough pain medications to be able to get through the week until my dr. was back and i even barely went anywhere.

    i find a muscle relaxant, anti-inflammatory like naproxen and icing helpful and alternating heating pad. i don't think you should be suffering with such a high number of pain and no medications. at a 7, i would be getting ready to go to the er. an 8 definitely to er at 10 you would be almost unconscious and screaming in pain. the meds bring it down to a 4-6 for me everyday. please see about something to help your pain.

    here's some posts what to ask your surgeon when you see him.

    take care. charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Mthomsen....I am so sorry to hear how your high your pain is. Please make an appt with ur regular dr ASAP to get some pain meds to hold u over until u see the neuro. There is no reason for u to suffer every day. I'm sure they wil give u something.......I really hope the surgeon has some options for you. Try to keep your head up and keep us updated. Take care, I will be thinking of you.
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  • I seriously know how you feel, many of us (most actually!) on this form have gone through what you are feeling. Please also get into some sort of pain management. Get some new meds. There are nerve pain medications and other types of medications that can help in different ways. You can also get injections into the discs. You should be able to reduce your pain atleast to a 4-5.
    ACDF C4-5 June 23rd, 2011

    Another surgery in the near future. I am 26 years old.

    Current Meds- Norco 7.5/325, Cymbalta 60mg, Gabapentin, Adderall 20mg
  • Earlier this year, I quit. Couldn't go to work because of pain, sick in my guts because of narcotics that only cuts pain - doesn't eliminate it, have lost most of my friends because of pain and not wanting to socialize and have gained so much weight because I can't move because of pain. Went to many MD's looking for help. Finally found a surgeon who didn't feel like more narcotics was the answer. Work up didn't reveal any surgical options (have had 3 prior back surgeries). Spinal cord stimulator trial failed - didn't cover up any pain at all. Then I got an injection of morphine in my spine. Hope! I didn't have pain for a day. Been in pain almost 15 years. Couldn't believe how good I felt. Even had a smile on my face. Was suppose to have surgery today to implant morphine pump. Yesterday at 3:15pm I found out my surgery is "indefinately suspended" because last year my primary doctor sent me to rehab because my guts had shut down again. He wanted to see if my gut function would recover and what my pain would be if I got off narcotics. Gut function did recover but pain was sky high. Rehab wouldn't give me any narcotics - just heat packs and asprin. Went home and tried to go to work but about died from the pain. Couldn't stand up straight, cried all day. Restarted narcotics. My wonderful insurance company has labelled me a "drug abuser" because of that visit to rehab. Apparently no MD documented my lack of gut function. The jerk at my insurance company told me "we can't give a morphine pump to a drug abuser". I wanted to point out that they give me 120 60 mg oxycontin every month but I was afraid they would take that away also so I didn't say anything. Been crying all day. Want to quit everything. I can't take more narcotics - my guts barely work and I've had 4 ileus' since rehab. At the end of the conversation with the insurance bitch, she says "we only want what is best for you". I told her that means I would get a morphine pump. And then she told me not to call her again because it is uncomfortable for her to talk to people she denies. WTF?!?!?! Called my doctor who sent me to rehab to see if he would write letter, but never heard back. Life isn't worth living when pain takes it all away. I don't know what to say when you are up against the pain wall. Guess we all have been there. thanks Regan - HMO's what a great idea
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