This week..weeks actually have been rough
Depression has reared its ugly head and is resisting my defenses.
Tired of being the Adult.
Tired of keeping the peace at my expense.
Tired of people always playing the victime when they have nothing to complain about.
Tired of being merely a riol to be used and discarded at will.
Tried talking, explaining, presenting simple..facts.
And all. I hear is me..me..me.
What i need
What i should be doing for them
What i should be doing.
Doing what I can do
doing the best I can with what I am.
Giving a Hundred Percent.
Ime past the stage of saying.. not good enough.
If they wont or cant understand?
I wont pity them
Will stop understanding them
I will stop making excuses for their ignorance or flat out stupidity.
When ime told..
"No one does anything for me"
Keeping the peace is killing me slowly.
And the darkness creeps in
Taking more than its fair share of my life.
There are good tnings...
The dark always has to have a say
Off to bed
My hands hurt like a cold icy fire
They feel swollen
They hurt on different fingers on different days
They hurt up to my elbows, my shoulders
My neck..which hurts like a knife is slowly cutting a lane into my disc
To my old friend, the headache.
Me and my sorry band of companions
Always occupying the same space
The tears are never far
I have to go and play the good guy again
"You never do anything for me..."
Its because i did all these years... that i cant now.
Show a little respect.
I live as independently as i can
But there are things i cant do
And giving a hoot is soon to be a past atriibute.