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Any toddler moms post-fusion?

Hi all :)
I'm Katie.
I'm scheduled for an ALIF with cadaver graft and no instrumentation December 15. I'm an RN but have been staying home with my now 2-yr-old since she was born due to back issues.

I developed nerve pain in my right hip and down my leg about 15 months ago after coping with back issues for about 8 years. It's severe when lying down in most positions, and this pain and lack of sleep is what prompted me to get help and consider surgery.
I don't have a lot of instability but my disc space at L5/S1 is so narrowed that the surgeon thinks a fusion is the best option to prop up the space again, particularly because the pain is so positional.

Is there anyone here who has had a fusion when they have a little kidlet at home? I understand obviously that I won't be able to care for her- she's going to have to go to daycare full time for at least a couple of months, and my fabulous husband will have to do all the parenting after he gets home from work. 
I'm struggling with the ways this will impact her and not knowing what things will be like after surgery or for how long. Like most humans, I abhor uncertainty. 
I know kids are resilient, but I don't want her to have to be this resilient at two! She's a strong little kid and good at playing by herself and is super verbal for her age so she can tell us how she's feeling and what she needs, but we've been so inseparable since her birth, and this adjustment will be hard for both of us.
Im afraid of how I will be able to still snuggle after surgery without her hurting me. I know I'll be tired from lack of sleep for a while and I'm worried I won't be able to be patient with her.
Anyone here with similar experiences and words of hope or encouragement or practical advice?



  • Bruce EitmanBruce Eitman Akron, OH, USAPosts: 1,496

    welcome to the spine-health forums.

    we do have several members who have been through this with small children and grandchildren this year. i know that can be difficult, but my kids were old enough to help their ole dad...

    hopefully someone will jump in soon.

    please click on the following link for some helpful information to get you started with the forums: welcome to spine-health


    Read my story at Bruce - My Story
    ACDF C4-C5-C6-C7, and getting better every day
    It has been a process of healing, learning, exercising, and resting - and figuring out when to do which.

  • miss_cmiss_c New ZealandPosts: 2
    Hello. I had a L5 S1 fusion PLIF / TLIF in 2008. My kids were a few months away from being 2 and 4 years old. It was a challenge.

     I had some help. Bad dreams and getting them to the toilet in the middle of the night were the hardest. Mums are always woken in the night more easily lol. Biggest tip teach little ones to get up on the bed or chair or couch for cuddles. Put a tv in your room and watch programmes together. Read books together etc. Let kids help as much as possible they love it e.g. putting on socks and shoes, picking up stuff off the floor. I let mine play with my grabber.

    Now my kids are nearly 10 and 12 years and I'm getting L4 L5 fused XLIF soon as it was left last time to get worse before fixing (because I was / am young). Same rules have applied since back issues began... no jumping up and swinging off mum. Now they are older they know how and are prepared to help.  Definately you will need support for a couple of months - never do heavy lifting - kid's learn quick when you cant lift and carry them. Best of luck. 
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  • katiepantskkatiepants SE MichiganPosts: 3
    Thank you ❤️
  • rln12280rrln12280 Louisiana Posts: 27
    I had ACDF and I have a 6 and 12 year old and it was an adjustment for us.  I am a stay at home mom so my mom was in charge of getting them to and from school and do homework and bathing them. She would stay til Once my husband got home from work we would go get take out. I am at week 2 and we are still doing this.  It's hard not doing anything! Letting others do for you and your kids not the way you would do it of course.   Good luck!!!
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