I had my first spinal fusion L4-L5-S1 in 2004. It was I think the worst experience I have ever had, I developed infection within the first 3 day's and 7 weeks later and 3 different kinds of antibiotics it finally cleared. I developed chronic depression and anxiety because of the pain and loss of ability to work or garden, the day to day tasks were a burden. Then in about 2015 I had developed an unstable area on the opposite side of my spine so went to see another NS whom I thought would be really good. He told me that sooner or later that would need to be stabilized hence my 2nd spinal fusion and the removal of rods and screws from my 1st fusion. I now feel worse than before, the pain just does not go away and I have no life anymore. Most of you will probably feel as bad as I do and I so so feel for you all. There is no movement in my back, showering and toileting are so debilitating I am at a loss of what to do anymore. I have always been a keen gardener and on the go all the time. I worked all my life until my injury. Enough is enough and I'm about done. My insurance company is giving me a hard time with not wanting to pay for me to have specialist care, they don't want to pay for home help it's just like they have wiped me off the books. I know life goes on but really I wonder how much can a person put up with before they go over the edge. I have been on so many different strong pain meds but after a time they were not working at all and I was not willing to go higher doses so I weaned myself off them and now am looking for something else that may work on my pain. Well that's my story hope I didn't bore you guys and I sure hope you can get some relief from your pain. Thinking of you and your journey's.