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Doesnt matter what you do it still hurts

Hello all,

I have been a spine health member here for five years.  I started with just cervical issues.  I have had two level acdf at C5-C7.   I also have a moderate L4-L5 disc bulge with root nerve impingement.  Lumbar issues are relatively new in the last few years where cervical issues have a ten year history.  Now I have a compression fracture at T12.  I have tried all conservative measures ice, heat, traction and so on.  I have also had at least twenty injections in my cervical and lumbar spine spanning five years.  I am a chronic pain patient who has been on opiate pain meds and muscle relaxers for quite a while.  As stated above I also have had surgery.

My point is nothing cures us.  Nothing takes the pain away.  The best we can hope for is a lessoning of symptoms for a few hours until next dose of pain meds or what ever else we do.  As I have read here on Spine Health the five year study on having surgery vs conservative treatments is about equal.  Except for really bad nerve entrapment its a toss up as what to do.  I know there are exceptions to the above.  I am just amazed we in the modern world do not have something better to offer chronic pain patients.  I have resigned myself to being in pain the rest of my life.  I am not really sure taking pain meds is the answer either.  I have so many side effects to long term opiate use I am about to toss them and suffer on without them. 

This is just me venting as I am really hurting today.  I hope everyone is feeling good today.




  • Venting is good dmo. That's what we are all here for, to vent or be vented at :-)

    I understand exactly where you are coming from on meds and treatments as I spent many years struggling through without meds as everybody said how bad that was and an osteopath could do exactly the same job.  At the time the osteopath could help me out of certain pain, but it always came back so everything has its limits.

    My pain med avoidance had to stop when I had severe nerve entrapment.  I tried to fight it but ended up with sky high blood pressure and at risk of my surgery being cancelled to release the nerve.  It taught me a huge lesson.  Pain meds are for so much more than just physical pain.  When the body is left in constant pain, it has a huge effort internally.

    I am only sharing this with you in case your doctors have not shared the blood pressure link to pain.

    Please ask for advice on how stopping the meds would affect your overall health before considering a definite action.

    Bad days always make to vent or rant so please carry on if needed



    L5/S1 herniation Apr 2013
    nerve root injections Oct 2013
    L5/S1 discectomy Jan 2014
    L5/S1 nerve roo &, facet joint injections & edpidural Jan 2015
    L5/S1 revised discectomy, L4/L5 discectomy & Wallis Inswing Stabilisation L4/L5 May 1st 2015
    L4-S1 TLIF with decompression June 2017
  • AkiraAAkira Redlands, CAPosts: 79
    Vent everyday if you want because you are so right on.
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  • Everyday I read posts on spine health that just break my heart.  We live our lives, old and young alike searching for that break that will make everything ok.  Each person has a life which in reality is taken from them.  Some through accident, some through age related deterioration.  We try to find answers as to why this happened and what can be done about it.  Our choices are very limited indeed.

    Once the scalpel touches our skin we are forever changed.  I lament the day I allowed this to happen to myself.  I have never been more sorry.  I know this is just me and many here are happy with their choice.  When I do a spine health search for pain after acdf. I am inundated with page after page of those of us who rue the day we allowed this surgery to take place.  Don't misunderstand me, I chose to do this to myself.  I blame no other.  The burden is on me.  Still what can be done for those like myself with less than perfect outcomes?  Though this is a rhetorical question, it still haunts me everyday. 

    This is my third time on short term disability.  Each time a small peace of me withers away.  I am a shell of my former self.  I can barely keep my own head above water.  I try mixing different meds with different methods of conservative treatments.  As above it is all futile and grasping for the wind.  Perhaps we should look in a different direction.  As man has yet to prove himself we have a different choice.


  • In regards to meds.
    Some meds..are better than no meds at all.
    You hate them..but you may need them.
    My quality of life was 100%better with muscle relaxers and opiates for the ever present breakthrough pain.
    Meds are a tool
    No more
    No less

    Try maintaining a life without them and see the difficulty added to the onus you already carry.
    I live without meds for many reasons.
    With a choice? I would still be on them
    That choice was taken from me,
    I followed every rule
    Used them only as prescribed
    Jumped through every hoop

    And that coping tool was taken away.
    It is a vicious and heart broke life to have known the bliss of lessening of pain.

    Like my past life. It is only a fading memory.
    Idle tossing around of the idea is one thing with the luxury of still having prescription relief enablers.
    When the iron is being hammered is another.

    We live in a nether shadow world

    Here...take this
    Go away....

    Strengthen your mind
    Harden your heart
    Gird your spirit

    These are your tools against the darkness
    It is a discipline to practice and develop as a survival skill against the inevitable.

    The everyday horror of having to anticipate the hammerfall is with us every day
    I await dreading the bloody stroke of pain
    But live life nonetheless.

    Hang in there
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 6,502
    dmo and William

    To me, two very profound and heartfelt posts. 
    Our choices are very limited indeed. Will they benefit? It's just another gamble we take to rid ourselves of the pain.

    I had a pain pump implanted, no more meds, even for break through pain. I went through the body aches and body screams when they were taken away. But now I have problems that the pump won't touch so I'm back on the pain meds.

    What a vicious cycle we live in.
    Veritas-Health Forum Moderator
    Please read my  Medical Story  
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  • Hi all,

    This thread was really not supposed to be focused on just me.  It is really about us all.  It is about our struggle with chronic pain and the inability to reduce or remove chronic pain.  I am not talking acute pain as everyone here knows the difference.  William I have looked back at your older posts and your accident seem horrific.  I am so sorry you had to and still have to live with the results of this tragedy.  You also mentions pain meds taken away.  I was wondering why that happened or if it was self imposed?  Sandra having a pain pump is something I cant even imagine.  I truly hope it controls your pain though I see you have another issue that requires meds now. 

    As I examine life in general I had many preconceived ideas that just do not conform to reality.  I never saw myself as a chronic pain person.  I look in the mirror and don't even recognize myself anymore.  Age has robbed me of my youth and health.  I mourn them both. I have learned life is a series of adjustments.  We must constantly change with our circumstances.  Pain is lifes cruel joke.  With age comes wisdom but also decay.  I pity those who lose their vitality through sickness or accident.  I am today a kinder gentler person because of my pain.  No longer do I judge people based on outward reflections.  Inner truth is the real guage of a persons soul. 

    To all of us suffering constant pain, may mercy find us.  The clock has struck, our time is at hand.  We must endure it.  Even so, come quickly. 


  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,264
    edited 04/09/2017 - 4:27 PM
    Hi dmo!
    Many of us can relate to your vent. I can!
    Its chronic we need to learn how to best handle it...

    New article was pointed out on this discussion...which has link to get you to the article, which has links to other articles that I found very encouraging!

    Spine-Health Article: When there is no cure for your aching back

    Sorry, you will need to use search. All my years here, and I can't wrap my head around how to make it a link :)
    And it's not for lack of many members trying to help me! Just another limit I have learned to accept about myself :)

    Take care!
    ....and I have no idea why after I posted, this article title is so huge!
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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